2nd Letter to ex - do or die (part 1)
This is the letter that I want to send to my ex. It basically lays in all on the line for her. I am trying to be direct and honest, not desparate. I don't know when I will send it to her yet, but it may be in a month, or 3 months...
I'd appreciate any comments on it.
--------
Dear (ex),
I’ve had more time to think about my feelings and behaviours surrounding our break up, and this letter explores them further. This letter is direct, and I am laying it all on the line for you. Please do not feel threatened. I am not telling you to do anything you do not want to. I am not trying to pressure you. I am trying to make my feelings and situation clear to you. I will not do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.
I am a serious believer of fate. I know that fate brought us together. Fate makes me vividly remember the first day you entered my life, namely your first day at work. I remember you sitting at the opposite corner of the room as me, at the floor team meeting. Your hair was dark. I remember you being introduced to the team. I remember looking at you and thinking that you were very attractive. Why do I remember this in so much detail? Because fate makes me remember this. I do not recall the details of when anyone else has ever started work around me.
I know that fate brought you closer to me. Fate made you approach me about your feelings, despite the fact that I was a married man. I too had very strong feelings for you, but it was not right for me to think that way, as I was married. This is a testament to my loyalty.
Fate made my ex wife cheat on me. This opened the way for me to leave her to be with you. Fate brought us together. Fate allowed us to unite. You cannot deny the chemistry that existed between us. There were so many sparks flying around that I was worried that everywhere we went would catch on fire!
Fate has made me realise that you are the only woman for me (ex). You are the sole person who I want to share the rest of my life with. I want us to share our good and no so good experiences together. I honestly could not consider marrying anyone else other than you. You can be the only mother to my children. These two desires are only getting stronger and stronger within me. You may still find this hard to believe given my past comments, and I fully understand this. But I cannot stress more that this is what I really want in life with you. My want for marriage and children with you is unparalleled with anything else I have ever wanted in life. I promise you this.
I believe that fate will eventually bring us back together to fulfil these desires. You are my soul mate (ex). I did not know the concept of a soul mate until I met you.
I can fully understand how my comments about marriage and children could make you feel we don’t have a future together. You want these very important things in life, so your thoughts are perfectly understandable. As I have mentioned to you before, my comments about marriage were premature due to my marriage break up. But as our relationship grew stronger, marrying you definitely was, and still is, one of my most important life goals. I am a very loyal person, and only left my ex wife due to her infidelity to me. I was also blessed with the fact that after this happened, I had the opportunity to share my life with you, the true woman of my dreams. I am extremely fortunate to have had this chance.
As I have also mentioned, having children in my life has been something that I have never seriously considered before. I have had a lot of time to seriously consider having children one day, and the reasons why this has been an issue for me in the past. I have realised that I get embarrassed around children because I do not know what to do, and have not had much experience. You even admitted to relating to my issues as you used the feel the same way. But you have overcome this just like I will. I will easily overcome this by getting more exposure to children, and am already starting to work on this whenever someone brings their children into work. I take interest in children now. I am working hard at this for my own benefit. I have even thought about what life would be like without having my own children, and I honestly know that it would not be complete. I seriously do want to have children one day, and only with you. I could not be more serious about anything. I want to create the miracle of life with you. Plus I need to make sure I keep my exceptionally good looks alive by passing them onto my children : ). Add your exceptionally good looks, and we can have a family of supermodels!!!
I can also understand if you had doubts about my feelings for you due to my early comments about marriage and problem with saying I love you. Once again this is totally understandable. (ex), I loved you with all my heart, and still do, more than anyone I have ever loved before. My love has reached its peak with you. My love for you is immensely strong. Stronger than any force that exists in this universe. I do apologise for not making this clear when we were together, but please believe that I am sincere.
My love for you has been with me from early on in our relationship. To my credit, I did tell you very early on that I was falling deeply for you, even though I have been crap at telling you this ever since. My love for you has never grown weaker. I have realised just how deeply I love you, especially since you left my side. I would give absolutely anything to get back the special bond we had together, I feel that strongly for you. My friends have commented on a number of occasions that they see just how much I really do love you with all my heart, and hope that they are able to experience similar feelings one day. My love for you is everlasting. My marriage did not last due to the fact that my ex wife cheated on me, nothing else. Once I am committed to something, I stay. Only in exceptional circumstances (cheating, physical or emotional abuse etc) would I ever consider breaking a bond. If we do get back together, I will NEVER break my bond with you (ex).
2nd Letter to ex - do or die (Part 2)
You are my dream woman in every single facet. I’ve called you the perfect woman, and I still truly believe this. Let me explain more why I think you are the perfect woman for me. You have so many qualities that I adore and envy. I could spend all day listing them, but I will tell you the most important ones from my perspective. You are:
· Loving · Caring · Intelligent · Attractive · Thoughtful
· Fun · Sexy · My best friend · Understanding · Loyal
· Honest· Generous · Sincere · Trusting · A good listener · Sharing
There is still so much more I want to learn from you, and about you. So do you blame me for wanting to be with you again? You are an exceptionally special person to me, and too precious to lose. I cannot bestow any higher compliment on you.
My friends tell me that I could have any woman that I wish. I tell them that this is not my desire, and that you are the only woman that I want to hold and love. No one else will ever compare to you. My heart will only hold true love for you, I am certain of this.
A few of my friends used to say things to me like “well done on scoring a twenty-something girl. We envy you!” But this is shallow and was never the reason I was with you. I was with you (ex) because you were you, not because of your age. We were able to relate to each other on the same level, so age was never a concern for me. I was with you because I was in love with you, enjoyed your company, found you extremely attractive, and found you a lot of fun to be around. You became my best friend. So why wouldn’t I fight to get you back? You are all that I ever want.
Our friends would say that we were really good together. They envied us and our relationship. They would tell me this, and it would make me feel really good inside.
I am working hard to better myself and have taken some professional counselling sessions to help myself. I have learned a lot about my behaviours and how to improve certain aspects.
I have learned that a relationship requires space between the two partners. If I am in this situation again, I will make sure I make some quiet time for myself in order to let the relationship ‘breath’ and grow stronger. Separate interests, as well as shared ones, make for a really healthy relationship. A relationship after all is a bond between two individuals.
I have also learned a number of things about myself, and know that I need to improve in certain areas. I can be very impatient at times, and have started to work on this area to improve myself. The things I have been going through recently have really helped me to be more patient. I will improve my patience.
I can also be selfish in my views. I have learned to step back and think through things before I speak, and to consider those around me before I put my views forward. This has made me a much stronger person.
I have learned that if I encounter a subject such as the motivational/wealth creation seminar incident again, I will stop and think about it before speaking. In reflection, I did handle this situation badly. You put some really good points across, and I have realised that this was something you really wanted to do. It is something that that I would enjoy being part of too. Your father and Alison are two tremendous people who I look up to, and they have some really good outlooks on life. I would be honoured to be able to learn more from them in they way you do.
I am understandable to the fact that you may be at a point in your life where you need some time alone to assess yourself. I am perfectly happy to wait for you to do this. My unconditional love for you gives me the strength to wait. This time apart will benefit the both of us, and if we do get back together, our relationship will have an unbreakable bond. I am committed to make the necessary changes to achieve this. I have never done this for anyone else, because I have never cared for anyone like I care for you. Your earlier move to Auckland will allow you to really think through things alone. During this time, I will also think about my things, and work on the changes I want to make in order to become a better person.
They say that if you are really serious about something, you should focus and do your best to achieve it. I am really serious about a life long relationship with you (ex). I have decided that what we had was so special, and I am willing to fight to get your love back.
I don’t know if any other guy has ever been this serious about you before, or wanted to fight for you like I do. I doubt that they would have laid it all on the line for you either, like I am prepared to do. If not, then they haven’t understood you like I have. They didn’t truly seen the value in you like I do. The feelings for you in my heart drive me to want to win you back.
If you do think someday you would like to start our relationship afresh, please do not be ashamed to tell me. I will not reject you. And everyone in my life would welcome you back. Please do not be worried about this. The door to my heart will always be open for you.
Please take the time to carefully think about the contents of this letter. I have laid it all on the line for you because I care for you so much. I don’t do this lightly. Please also seriously consider a possible future together. You need to take your time and be sure in your heart before you commit to me again.
We had a really strong bond together, and both loved each other intensly. There is no reason why we cannot achieve this again. You emailed me during Queen’s birthday weekend and told me you loved me and wanted to marry me one day. I believe that this came from your heart, and will happen one day. Fate will see that this happens.
Please remember that I am not saying these things because I am lonely, or simply just want companionship until my next relationship comes along. I am saying them because you are the one. The one that I want to share the rest of my life with. If you give me a chance to prove this, I promise I will not let you down.
Remember (ex), I will always be here for you.
All my love,
John.