The fact that you tried to kill yourself with a new baby at home is disgusting, and if I were him I'd be gone just based on that. As for the drunken shenanigans, it sucks, but it's life. Been there, done that. Coming out of a black out to realize you're doing something that you normally would have never done, is horrifying, and yeah @michelle it happens.
Unfortunately all you can do is try to gain back his trust, and for the love of god, stay away from the suicide attempts. You have a child to think about. You are no longer the most important person in your life.
