Over, it sounds like we dated the same kind of woman. I could see she was moving on but there wasnt anything I could do to stop it. She no longer wanted to go the gym with me but started doing Insanity at home and listening more and more to her daughter since her daughter was a coach. Her entire family thought I was the devil himself because she would run to them and tell them what I did or said making herself look like the victim. There wasnt one of her kids who helped her go behind my back but they dont see that, the only thing they see is what their mother told them.
Back in early August when I decided I couldnt take it anymore and we were through I was sitting upstairs on the computer and she was downstairs on the watching tv. We were past the point of arguing and agreed I could still live there. Anyway, about 8:30 one evening I heard a knock on the door, I could here her talking but no one else. All of I sudden I heard a mans voice call my name not thinking anything about it I yelled "YO". When I turned around there was a cop standing in the doorway of the den. He said "whats the problem?" I answered "there's not a problem, not that I know of". He told me to put my hands on my head and come downstairs. Again, he asked 'whats the problem?" I gave him the same reply. I was very respectful to him and never gave him a reason to think I was any kind of threat. He put handcuffs on me and asked me if I had any warrants. I told him no and he asked for my drivers license. I showed him where my wallet was and he ran my ID to see if I was telling him the truth. He asked me if we were fighting and I told him no, he than asked me if we WERE fighting a couple of weeks ago. Again I told him no, I told him we had argued about all her lying but I realized she cant be trusted and ended the relationship. He said "so it is what it is than, there's no fighting?". I concurred. He went into the formal living room to talk to my g/f and the female cop that was talking to her. Obviously my g/f told him the same thing I did so he came back and took the cuffs off and they left. I asked her what that was all about and she said her daughter was worried about her so they called the cops. Her daughter never called her on the land line or her cell phone or sent her a text. She came to the conclusion that her mom was in danger and called the cops. I asked my g/f what she'd been telling everyone to make everyone she knows think I was such an animal. Even after her lying to me about her ex, me seeing she was asking other guys for their phone numbers on FB AND finding a pair of mans socks that didnt belong to me on my dresser I never became violent. I became angry but I never pointed a finger at her much less raised a hand to her. Calling her names upset her so I agreed when we first started dating to never call her a name out of anger and never did. I went on and said that this is what I can expect from now on? Your daughter gets a wild hair, calls the police and I get handcuffed? She said no and that she would talk to her daughter about it
Her other daughter helped my g/f go behind my back and get on FB using an alias after she gave me her word she wouldnt and her son who is an iphone/mac guru helped her hide what she was doing on her phone. The entire time she was telling me "she's never loved anyone more than she loved me" Thats just an idea of what I went through, it gets worst, much worst but not only did I stay there were times I begged her not to break up with me. I was once called weak and pathetic by someone on this forum and that person was right. She didnt respect me because I didnt respect myself enough to man up and get the hell out of there, she was toxic and I knew it but I still stayed only to be abused some more.
The pain I feel isnt nearly as bad as it could be only because I see her for what she is and know regardless of how I feel about her I could never allow myself to go back to that situation. Like her ex H said, "she needs to attract the attention of other men, she's always been like that and will never change". I see that now and know that the woman I loved so much wasnt capable of making the same sacrifices I had made to make sure she knew she was the only woman in my life.