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how am I being that insecure guy. Again like I said before I knew and accepted the people she has been in a relationship with. The only thing at this moment in time that makes me feel better thinking about is either to separate and date more people and see if that makes me feel better so i can equal the score so to speak.
You literally answered your own question. This is what makes you insecure: the fact that you still think (even after knowing her for so long) that the fact that she slept with guys outside of a relationship makes a fundamental difference in your marriage (it doesn't), and especially the whole crap about wanting to "equal the score". WTF? What "score"? Are you 13? She did what she wanted with her sexuality when she was young, it's not her fault that you didn't (or did? It's perfectly fine to not
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What keeps going through my head is that she saw the person I was/am knew I would be a good father and husband, purposely hid the information from me knowing full well that this would be something I look down on and said I don't care. I'll marry him, get him to where he cant leave me and that will be that.
Again, this is a legitimate reason to be angry. She did trick you. However (and this is not an excuse for her lie, just something to reflect upon), she did it for "the greater good". She saw that you two would have been happy together, that you were compatible and that a wonderful love story could have started - all things that actually happened. So she thought "Why should his insecurity and judgment get in the way of what we could have?" and she decided not to tell you. She might actually have done you a favor - you wouldn't have married her otherwise, you wouldn't even have dated her. You say that you love her, well if that's true, you'll find a way to accept her and to let go of your irrational insecurities.