after 2 years, no marriage plan, what's next?

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Originally Posted by Chlorine

Once the right girl comes along, they make time to see her. They work all day, leave the office at 7pm, take the girl out to dinner, than go back to the office at 10pm to finish up their work.

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Most girls wouldn't accept this.

ok, so let's say a girl is wanting to have a marriage after 2 yrs together...should she give him an ultimatum either marry her or she'll leave? Will this set the guy's mind straight?

Ultimatum? Don't make me laugh. You drop an ultimatum and we're threw.

My best friend's girl tried to do that shit; we kept him strong and her ultimatum went bye-bye.

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Originally Posted by Debunkt

well if you think about it, if you leave a guy for not marrying you after 2 years, you'll have to find someone else, which would be another 2 years until you get married. So whether you leave them at 2 or stay for 4, its the same amount of time you're waiting to get married. I'd say if you're happy in the relationship, just wait.

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That's very good logic.

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Originally Posted by TAVS

Ultimatum? Don't make me laugh. You drop an ultimatum and we're threw.

My best friend's girl tried to do that shit; we kept him strong and her ultimatum went bye-bye.

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well, maybe it's a good thing for your friend's gf...bc by then she knows that he's not that serious with her?? maybe??

I have to agree, I don't like ultimatums. just not the right way to go about it; I basically had one thrown at me once, and I opted out.

He is serious with her; they just dont have the money right now. But it's unfortunate; cause EVERYONE agrees he can do way better.

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Originally Posted by Lloyd95

I have to agree, I don't like ultimatums. just not the right way to go about it; I basically had one thrown at me once, and I opted out.

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well, then, in your opinions, what is the right way to go about it?

Have a sit down; a heart to heart. You'll find out where he stands and where he wants to be.

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Originally Posted by Chlorine

yellowjasmin----"What if you are in a serious relationship but the timing is not right for him until maybe 4 yrs later (due to career related).....'

Blah blah blah. Men love using that career line, "I'm too focused on my career right now". They just haven't found the right girl
Once the right girl comes along, they make time to see her. They work all day, leave the office at 7pm, take the girl out to dinner, than go back to the office at 10pm to finish up their work. Weekends they give up sport/tv/whatever to take her out. Within the year, they've given her a ring and married her. Why? Because it's the girl that they want to marry, and they make sure they get her (and the career).

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Truer words were never spoken - by either a woman or someone who is single.

That sounds all fine and dandy for about a month or so. Once reality sets in and you realize you can't afford to be doing shit like this every night, nor can you stand literally LIVING at your office because your dumb broad demanded you to spend time with her, forcing you to leave work and spend time with her.

What about those of us who don't have this option? Not everyone works at a business office where they have the option to just up and leave work so that they can come back later. Even if they could, how many men would actually WANT to come back to work after they left?

Give up sports / tv/ whatever...? What a pussy-whipped cop out. Why are you giving up ANYTHING for a woman? She isn't going to change for you, so why in the world would you be with someone whom you have to change your whole life with just to be able to stand? Someone needs to re-attach their nads.

Here is another insane idea about this whole thing - Don't get married. There isn't anything in it for the man in the first place. Of course, all too many men are too pussy to put their foots down, so they fall for this bullshit ultimatum, but that's too bad for them. Any man with half a gonad would let their woman know EXACTLY what their intentions are about the whole marriage thing, and would never entertain any kind of marriage talk until they are ready to do so.

It's no wonder most marriages end in divorce. Pushy, demanding women who want a guy to change, marrying pussy-whipped men who don't stand up for who they are and what they want to do.

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Originally Posted by Cybog

Truer words were never spoken - by either a woman or someone who is single.

That sounds all fine and dandy for about a month or so. Once reality sets in and you realize you can't afford to be doing shit like this every night, nor can you stand literally LIVING at your office because your dumb broad demanded you to spend time with her, forcing you to leave work and spend time with her.

What about those of us who don't have this option? Not everyone works at a business office where they have the option to just up and leave work so that they can come back later. Even if they could, how many men would actually WANT to come back to work after they left?

Give up sports / tv/ whatever...? What a pussy-whipped cop out. Why are you giving up ANYTHING for a woman? She isn't going to change for you, so why in the world would you be with someone whom you have to change your whole life with just to be able to stand? Someone needs to re-attach their nads.

Here is another insane idea about this whole thing - Don't get married. There isn't anything in it for the man in the first place. Of course, all too many men are too pussy to put their foots down, so they fall for this bullshit ultimatum, but that's too bad for them. Any man with half a gonad would let their woman know EXACTLY what their intentions are about the whole marriage thing, and would never entertain any kind of marriage talk until they are ready to do so.

It's no wonder most marriages end in divorce. Pushy, demanding women who want a guy to change, marrying pussy-whipped men who don't stand up for who they are and what they want to do.

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well, not all men are like this. some do keep their gf's hanging until they find another girl that they think is the right one. I think for the woman's best interest to either have the commitment infront of her or walk away.

jasmin, if this thread is about your spaz of a bf, I hope you're not considering marrying him.

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Originally Posted by Lloyd95

jasmin, if this thread is about your spaz of a bf, I hope you're not considering marrying him.

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well, somewhat yes and no. More like a no. I guess, I'm more confused than i thought I am.

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Originally Posted by Debunkt

well if you think about it, if you leave a guy for not marrying you after 2 years, you'll have to find someone else, which would be another 2 years until you get married. So whether you leave them at 2 or stay for 4, its the same amount of time you're waiting to get married. I'd say if you're happy in the relationship, just wait.

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One of my best friends has the two-year-rule. She's stayed with a guy who's not ready to have a family for seven years, waiting for him to get it together. It's looking like it's never going to happen. She wanted babies, and it's looking like that's not going to happen, either. She could have found three guys more willing to commit by now.

I think that's sad. If one person wants to get married and the other person doesn't, one of you will be unhappy, no matter what.

I can think of a few friends right off hand that got married after being together for many years. Just took a long time to get to the altar. I was a wedding last summer for a couple that had been together for 10 years. (off and on - they broke up lots - but neither of them ever dated anyone else all those years - so they were never really off).

I'm certain it is a solid marriage that will continue to get stronger.

Others I've known, some 8 or 10 years.....then married.

I guess if the guy knows he isn't going to marry her...it is really unfair for him to be stringing her along.

However, if it is just a matter of not being ready for certain things yet (I mean..some people have ideas of what they want to make things stronger when they do get married) - then it is definitely worth waiting for. Probably just means he is cautious and wants to do things right.

And ultimately I believe the man has to decide when the time is right.