It's never seemed like a fear to me. That's what people always say, though. "You're just afraid to commit. Ain't that special?" But it isn't like that. When I meet a girl and we start dating I'm walking on air. When we have sex it's like I'm making love to the most desirable woman on Earth. It's so exciting and fun. A month goes by, though, and all the fun is gone. Now she's asking me where I think this relationship is going, she's telling me that my jokes hurt her feelings, she's calling me up in tears because her cat ate her lizard (yes, a girl really did do that).
What's the point of it all if I'm not enjoying myself any more? Is it really so selfish to want to do things that are pleasurable and to avoid things that are not? I dunno. I need to stop thinking about this. I'm in the happy-go-lucky stages of a potential relationship. I need to ride the high and enjoy myself. I can fret over the lows when it's time to bail. This particular chick is about as unlikely to have a sti as they come. When the time is right mebbe I can get her to have herself checked out beforehand.