Aeradalia, you sound entirely sane to me. What kind of idiot is baby-obsessed in high school? Ick.
I think you're starting to entertain the idea subconsciously because you're starting to be a responsible adult. I wish everyone worked that way.
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Aeradalia, you sound entirely sane to me. What kind of idiot is baby-obsessed in high school? Ick.
I think you're starting to entertain the idea subconsciously because you're starting to be a responsible adult. I wish everyone worked that way.
This is a good point. I suppose there is some amount of genetic selfishness/arrogance that went into our decision.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Tho I do believe that the issue is quality vs. quantity. My husband and I genuinely believe that we have a lot to offer our son (and hopefully society) by raising a very well-brought up human being. I suppose by that argument, we should have had 4. But it wasn't in the cards. We have discussed about adoption/fostering now that our son is old enough to understand & is more intellectually independent. Perhaps we should consider this more seriously if the future permits.
I went to high school in a small town in East Texas where the only available lifestyles involved mostly factory work or farming... so the views on having children were perhaps more old-fashioned and traditional.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I also spent some time in a high school in a larger East Texas city --- an alternative school really --- and had the opportunity to see first hand what it's like to raise a kid when you're 12 - 18 as a single mother.It was mandatory for everyone to take parenting classes (a requirement for the alternative school I believe)... and even basic child psychology. It was fun, though at the time I didn't see the point in me, personally, having to learn it.
So, shortly after high school... girls had kids (because that's what mom did, and her mom, and her mom's mom.. etc) and the guy's well... not always sure of their reasons... but they seemed to follow suit nonetheless.
You might be right... I may have been putting the idea on hold all these years because it never seemed feasible, and now that I am in a relationship with a man who's not only stable emotionally, but wanting to wait (a sign of a good head on his shoulders)... these thoughts have emerged.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This I agree with. It's a catch-22 for me. Women who don't love children aren't really women. It's so wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by DoesntMatter [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm sure you do have a ton to offer. But to be devil's advocate why not adopt to begin with? Do you believe that genetics plays a large part in how children turn out?Quote:
Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Dreams are difficult to interpret or they may mean nothing at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ecojeanne [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This one, however is easy ... it expresses conflicted bi-curiosity!! :P
Sorry, Jeanne ... just teasing.
Carl.
In short, yes. I think that intelligence and other traits are heritable. Certainly there are several generations of scientists (and now engineers) in our family. While part of that is environment, I doubt that is all of it. We are here b/c of certain genetics that allowed us to flourish and I think those are worthy of passing on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But it would be interesting to do the experiment. Find out just how much an adopted child will absorb living with in a science family. Not to imply we aren't tolerant of other aptitudes (there is also a strong aptitude for music in our family, on both sides) but there is no way that even an adopted child of unknown genetic origins wouldn't get a science education in our home. Something to think about, as I said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
What are they then?
The mother must learn to trust her own perceptions; no one can know her child as she does: "To demand that others should provide you textbook prognoses is like asking a strange woman to give birth to your baby. There are insights that can be born only of your own pain, and they are the most precious."Quote:
Originally Posted by Dasein [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Seek in that stranger who is your child the undiscovered part of yourself. The child emerges as both the benefactor and the victim of its motherīs love, with the author intervening like a guardian angel on its behalf He is equally wary of teachers, whom he consoles one moment-"You will always make mistakes because you are a human being, not a machine"
Not sure I understood the rest of your point, Dig, but I thought this^ was interesting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Indignant [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess this means that only a mother (or one who raises the child) can understand the child in a very specific way because of all the time, devotion, and love they spend on the child.Quote:
Originally Posted by Indignant [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
This part is even more confusing. First off, what stranger? I can understand children being both benefactor and victim of a mother's love, in that they learn about life... good or bad... from their mother (or guardian). The rest is yet again, unclear.Quote:
Originally Posted by Indignant [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Can't fault me for not trying to make sense of this bit of advice..;)