I want him back

Well, blimey that was a long time ago! Firstly though, just so you know, I didn't let anything happen between us while I was still with my other boyfriend. I definitely made sure I sorted things out and made sure he was ok before I let anything happen.

It's six years since we started chatting, and 5.5 years since we got together! I was young and naive back then. He was sweet to me, my boyfriend at the time was out a lot and didn't pay me very many compliments so it was nice to have someone who seemed to appreciate me, and that was hard to resist at the time. I don't regret the decision at all, we've had a very loving and happy relationship and I would never change that for anything, even though I'm hurting right now, it was all worth it.

Muffin Princess, all i can sya is that you are not alone. i cant even tell you when we had actually started teh breakup, i dont have specific date becuase i was os much indenial and i cant accept it at all. yet it has been a while. like you everytime i have asked him to sort things out between us he will just give me an i dont know answer. you see im 25, we have been friends for more that a yar, went steady for 1 year and 1 months, and lived together for more than 1 year too. I will not deny i had so much fault drunig our relati9onship, basically it was too late for me to see that he acutally enjoyed drinking , going home late, getting drunk with his friends rather than spending quelaity time with me. it was late when i figured out that i have to beg for him to spend a whole day whichis just him and me and nobody else. call it being selfish but i relal ylove it when he is around and when it is only us. but this did not change my feelings for him, i still love him until now. I am trying to cope up with the depression that i have but trsut me it is so hard. i just want him back that is all i canthink of. I even got crazy reading books on how to win your ex back. thy said you have to accept that you have broken up, be in no contact for a month, take care of yourself and break the pattern, after month you have to speak to him again just for him to see the new you. form there you would know if you still have chances of winning him. For us he also wanted us to be friends and not to loose each other at all. I bet we already did. We don't talk for now and I prefer it this way. I am still on a good verge of hope trust me it is not easy. To know that yes he just wanted me to be his friend and that's it. No more no less. And it kills to think that he is going out wth other ladies. I ma just waiting for the right time for me to see him again and then i can answer my question do i really want him and if there is any chance for both of us.Today i saw his profile in facebook changed from in a relationship into single, i had mixed feelings, it hurt me yes eventhough i know we are really over. I tried to date but in the end i still feel incomplete, empty. it did not help. but yes I think time will heal the pain. I guess you are not the only one hoping here, mee too. I just live it up to fate and destiny. I have more days to think about myself and what I want. Dont worry sweetheart, let's all hope everything will be fine. Don't you think love is sweeter the second time around.

Yes, you want him back but which do you prefer? Having him but still suffering from the fact that he really dont love you anymore and just having him beside cause you only want to? Or, Living your own life without him and enjoying yourself with your friends and start to get busy with something else for something new?

FIRST off, I'm VERY sorry that you are in this situation. SECONDLY, look at it this way, if you two DO get back together, will it be easy for you to get over the fact that he had feelings for another female? If it'll be hard to get over, then that whole thing will just be stuck in your head, and that isn't very healthy. Also, make sure all contact with the other woman comes to an abrubt halt. THIRD, I don't care how much you can possibly love someone, don't be ANYONE'S Back-up woman. That's borderline being someone'e rebound. Counselling could do some good, but it could go either way. It will either fix the matter, or make it completely worse. Take precautionaries first. I hope this helps at all. I wish you the best of luck!

Your ex certainly deserves to be jerked around a bit, but does the new guy? Don't you feel bad about this, Muffie?

Thanks for all your replies.

Aaron, he assures me that he no longer has feelings for this other woman and I'm trying to accept it, but it's impossible for all contact to stop as he lives around the corner from her and they lift share every day into University, they're also going on a field trip to Amsterdam in July. There's no way the contact can stop and I would never ask someone to stop seeing one of their friends. So I'm just going to have to accept that they are friends. I know nothing will ever happen between them as she's in a long term relationship and doesn't see him that way.

I'm not in love with him any more and he isn't in love with me, but we do have new rekindled feelings. We live 20 miles apart and only manage to see each other once or twice a week so we're taking things slowly for now.

Gigabitch, I do feel bad, and I did say that in my original post. I'm not defending myself in any way, but at no point did I tell this new guy that we were in a relationship. It's just been a long time since he's had any female contact and I think he's kind of desperate to get into a relationship.

Ah well, everything's f*cked. My (ex) boyfriend (?) found this forum somehow and just read everything.