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You are so right Frasbee. It sounds like he belongs to the serial monogamous people and many people can do that (and then end it and go to another and another and another). Frasbee and I are talking about being with one person for the rest of your life.
Depends on what you mean. Lots of factors. How many women have I married? How many women have I been sexual with? How many women have I been sexual with, with the instinctual intent to impregnate? How many people have I intended to be with? How many girls have I had intimate feelings for?Quote:
Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Humans are not beavers or storks, so, to compare human monogamy to beaver monogamy would just be idiotic. Humans take much longer to develop (And just look at the way a human develops before, during and after birth, and this is natural evidence for human monogamy) Humans have a complex anatomy, and many abilities (such as critical thought, which allows you to even process the abstract idea of monogamy) After all, how many gay beavers have you seen damming up their own rivers?
Given that, I'll clarify that I've always been looking for 1 partner to be with. Never wanted to be with multiple partners. Many people are this way, it's common sense. Look at all the LTRs there are. They are common (where I live anyway) Polygamy is common in other places, and even politically correct in some. So, if you really want to argue your point, it should be that humans are neither polygamous or monogamous... they just adapt. It's not a matter of will or instinct. Humans are so advanced that they have the ability to actually choose what they want and plan it all out. So in my opinion, it's just absurd to say "humans are this" or "humans are that" Humans are a lot of ****ing things. They are a widely adapted species of animals that can't be classified as simply as a ****ing beaver.
Humans are mostly thinking creatures and only mildly reliant on instinct. Even if we are "naturally" not monogamous, some of us strive for something similar because that is what we 'want.'
We have to ability to think, imagine, plan, put into action, and if all goes well... accomplish that which we set out to do.
It doesn't matter what we were meant to do instinctively when we make up our minds to be something different --- or do something different.
Human can choose to be monogamous or not... animals can't --- they just rely on instinct in such situations.
Humans are monogamous for at least 18 years, it is needed for survival of the species. You can explain it from natural selection point of view. Those who stay together long enough to raise their children have a much greater chance for their genes to reproduce than those who can't. Thus evolution favours monogamy in humans.
Evolution is not bound by any rules that says it must favor one and only one strategy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
In humans... evolution favors monogamy and many forms of cheating... and in some cases, even polygamy proves to work as well.
The more common strategy is semi-monogamy with one partner, while cheating occasionally... this offers a compromise, it keeps a secondary provider to ensure the well-being of the offspring, but with supplemental (and hidden) cheating, it also allows additional 'spreading' of genes.
Both men and women are susceptible to this strategy --- the man cares for one woman... but may impregnate others for which he is may not be bound to... or... a woman may cheat and fool the man that provides for her into accepting a child that isn't his.
However, with DNA testing, and more and more ways to catch a cheater... monogamy is being chosen more by cultural preference than by nature. Nature doesn't care which strategy is used... just so long as the genes are passed along.
It's human nature to want to reproduce, what separates us from the animals is that we can actually decide logically what we choose to do. It may not be the way of nature to be monogamous, but we can choose to be if we want to. That's just another one of the many reasons why I'm alone for now, when I finally decide that I want to alter somebody's life with my own problems and faults, it's going to be for good.
Right now, I absolutely love women, and I appreciate them every single day. I have a great time interacting with them, I'm not ready to be monogamous yet. I don't sleep around, hardly at all, that's not my style either. It's different for me with every single woman that I know. I don't intend to force my own life on anybody, as I don't want anybody to force theirs on mine.. yet..
I know who I'm in love with, I know who my soul mate is, but she isn't ready yet, and I guess that neither am I. Right now we have an open friendship, no judgment, no rules, we respect each others private lives. Our relationship right now is one of a kind, and we intend to keep it that way. We have not ever argued or dictated anything to each other. We have not had the chance to get tired of each other. What we have remains new and fresh, every day our friendship grows stronger, and one day we will definitely be together! :D
I don't agree with this. Semi-monogamy doesn't work because it creates single mothers. Single mothers and their progeny in ancient times were the best sources of nourishment for various natural flora and fauna. Only the units with two committed supporting partners stood the best chances to raise their offspring.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeradalia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
it would only create single mothers in case of primitive females who don't use any birth control while messing with a married man.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mishanya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well, we are talking about evolution stretching for hundreds of thousands of years. So ultimately we are talking about the primitives without the birth control.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonrisa [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Personally, I believe that in our most natural state we are inclined toward polygamy, not monogamy. A few males and as many females as they can bash over the head and drag back to the cave.
I don't think monogamy is at all natural for us.
Seems a but inefficient to have a 50-50 split in genders in species that practice polygamy.
Using the internet isn't natural either
Most people I know practice monogamy in a relationship. I know of very few cheaters so I believe monogamy is a standard human behavior.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I wonder what the ratio of committed people to cheaters is like for majority.
Everything of the earth is natural, lol
You know very few people who'd come right out and admit to you or to anyone else that they cheated. There's a difference.
You know people who won't admit that after 10 years of marriage they're unhappy and have lost all attraction for their partner. Or you know people who went ahead and bit the bullet and are now separated.