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3 months in and all of this is going on? I'd bail. I agree with the above-- any of those issues you're having would be a deal breaker for me as well.. and you've got a list of 6 legitimate reasons to walk.
Do yourself a favor and dump him. He may be a really sweet guy-- but that's not really going to get him far in life, especially if his favorite past time is lacking ambition and smoking weed.
As for the ultimatum.. don't bother. It's incredibly hard to change someone, if you're capable of doing it at all [it's doubtful.] Even if he did tell you he'd change in order to keep you, there's a good chance it would only last for a short period of time.. because.. well, lets face it-- unless he wants to change for himself, he's not going to stick with it.
In regards to the job situation-- you said you're in different departments, so.. don't worry about it. It's a job. You're not required to have some huge heart to heart talks with him at work, just be civil.
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Ultimatums just shift responsibility of decision from you to another person.
By all means, tell him what it is you expect from a partner. All potential couples should have this conversation. Some even discuss & negotiate points, esp if someone feels the other's expectations are unreasonable.
I don't think this is your problem, however. This guy is not suitable for you. This is a totally fine conclusion for you to come to.
Once you have the conversation, then the onus is on you to move on & find someone else. Its not a bad thing to do, provided you are kind. Might give him something to think about, which could benefit a future partner.
