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I don't like that at all. That's a really bizarre thing for her to say to you. If she wished her bf would treat her better, she'd say so. It sounds like she's just disappointed about not getting YOUR man.Quote:
Originally Posted by shelli [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Are you absolutely, positively sure there was never anything going on between her and your bf?
hello all and thanks for the replies.
:lol:YES i'm sure nothing has happened because we have only been together all of us at the same time, and when we met we started dating at once - and neither of us knew him before that.
Of course I understand if someone would like him because he IS great. The problem is not really the interaction anymore, I'm just curious about what in the world has been going on in her mind. IF she really wanted him and so on.
So, I'm just contemplating... and I appreciate the suggestions but in this situation I choose no 3 person confrontation since I consider the matter dealt with with my bf. She's just lost some points because I really feel like she is not the same type of friend as she once was.
I THINK but I don't know that she has just wanted something as great herself. She talks about marriage all the time and had really hoped for this to happen to herself. I THINK she has felt lower self esteem because her man has not wanted to commit more... and I THINK she therefore has done what she could to gain attention elsewhere. Succeeded some places because she is a great person, normally.
what has been the worst part of all this is losing her, because we used to be greatest friends. Secondly also, all these thoughts during my happiest times, which kind of upsets me - that she has not really been able to share this with me, and feel happy for me. It's just a lousy reaction but I guess I should just be happy for what I got, since that seems to be the cause of all this mess.
That's sketchy as shit. You have a right to feel the way you feel. Sounds like a player to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by shelli [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You worry too much what other people think.
You already know that friends don't act the way she did, especially when you told her about your engagement. She should have been happy for you, a real friend would have been, even if she perhaps was attracted to your fiance. A true friend would have swallowed that up and been genuinely happy for both of you.
Maybe you can revisit your friendship once she finds happiness of her own and she comes to terms with things. Meantime, I think some time away from this gal could give you the chance to deal with some of your own insecurities.
You are doing yourself and your fiance a disservice by focussing on anything other than your relationship. You do seem somewhat insecure, as I said. It seems to really bother you that your friend is beautiful/intelligent (more than you, perhaps?). You need to realize there will *always* be women around to compare yourself to, but your fiance is with YOU, so that's all you need really care about.
There's things going on in your friends relationship and mind that she has not told you. She sees your fiancee (congrats) as a beacon of light in a way. She could be a friend of convenience, but I have a gut feeling that she doesn't understand what she is doing or at least not thinking straight.
Its hard to believe after all this time she is maliciously trying to uproot your happy relationship. None of this excuses how she is acting, but it is something to consider. Sometimes people just lose their grip on reality and drift away into their own fantasy world to hide from the things that scare them.
I am generally the first person that will jump down another persons throat when you **** with someones relationship, but something just doesn't add up here.
One more reason this should be discussed between the 3 of them, before something that at this point in time only exists in the mind, becomes something that puts a huge strain on the relation.Quote:
Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
In my opinion, partners (and friends) who trust eachother, should have no problem discussing these issues.
Agreed - its going to take your fiancee's words to get it across to her at this point I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]