Critique my approach to women...

Mish, that kind of approach doesn't work for all girls. I've had that happen to me & its vaguely irritating/amusing.

It puts you in a superior position (teacher role), which might be okay for a submissive gal but if it turns out you are interacting with a young doctor, biochemist, or a PhD in food science you'd better have a good backpedal strategy ready, lol. I'd be inclined to toy with you "really? that's very interesting, tell me more"

Maybe that's not a bad thing, dunno.

Neo's suggestion resonated, not just b/c I suggested something similar, but b/c it also fits with basic human psychology: asking her opinion about something lets her set the comfort level for the interaction. You get to learn at a pace that she dictates. Your way could work also, but its more risky if you miscalc?

Gribble, you are evil. :)

Anyway, I'm the only chick in here providing feedback. So there it is FWIW.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Mish, that kind of approach doesn't work for all girls. I've had that happen to me & its vaguely irritating/amusing.

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If it doesn't then it doesn't. There is no 100% guarantee that anything will work. The idea is to come up with something semi interesting quickly, on the spot and come of as you just trying to be helpful, then continue the conversation from there. If a girl is interested she will naturally add to the conversation, if she doesn't then it's her loss.

True. I suppose the risk you run with asking her opinion is that she views you as not having one yourself = lack of initiative. Can't win all the time, as you say.

OK well this is my experience.

Even though I am married and not looking for someone else, I frequently have women asking me if I am available (yeah, I know sounds wicked doesn't it, must be my good looks, LOL)

So, what's the 'secret' in this case?

I believe it is a combination of:

- not actively looking for someone;
- being self-confident;
- being able to talk about pretty much any topic (even if it's only touching the basics and having the ability to admit that I don't know a lot about the topic but am interested to hear / learn more about it);
- being able to listen;
- being able to say NO.

My conclusion: for some reason many women seem to find it very fascinating if a guy can be calm, self confident, come over strong and yet be relaxed in their presence, like he has no care in the world and knows exactly what he wants (independent), yet is able to actively listen to what a woman has to say without offering advice or trying to fix things (empathize). They also seem to be very attracted to what they can't have, for a reason which totaly eludes me.

It wouldn't be the first time I say: "I am married and not available" (while pointing to my wedding ring) and receiving a reply to the extend of: "that doesn't mean anything anymore nowdays.", where I reply: "It does to me. Have a great day.", and walk away.

(not exactly the kind of woman I would like to be involved with anyways LOL).

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Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It wouldn't be the first time I say: "I am married and not available" (while pointing to my wedding ring) and receiving a reply to the extend of: "that doesn't mean anything anymore nowdays.", where I reply: "It does to me. Have a great day.", and walk away.

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I would thank this post a hundred times, Ygg.

PS - notice how I gave his post a thumbs up, kids? ;)

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I would thank this post a hundred times, Ygg.

PS - notice how I gave his post a thumbs up, kids? ;)

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Yeah I know.. they don't make 'em like that anymore ;)

No, they make them like Neo's posts in Cam's thread. :P

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Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

"It does to me. Have a great day.", and walk away.

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Unfortunately, you and Indi are a shrinking group amongst married Americans :(

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Neo is pretty good with this stuff, I'll add my own personal experience to it.

Like Neo said, you need to be confident if a girl turns and looks at you. Its one of the hardest habits to break, but you need to NOT look away. It completely kills any confident appearance, unfortunately its usually a half second decision. It comes with time.

When I talk to a girl, if I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle trying to hold a conversation, I usually just let it go and write it off as a waste of time. She shouldn't completely melt in your presence, but you also shouldn't feel like your scouting out the weak spot in a castle to get her to talk.

If you have a good conversation going, its easy to just keep talking, but you have to cut out before a silence. If you politely explain you need to get going for whatever reason and get her number, she will almost always answer/return your call. When you cut it off at a high point you do two things that women like. First, you show a little bit of dominance by breaking the conversation off, it shows confidence without arrogance. Second, you leave her wondering. If you think its bad as a guy not knowing or wondering, amplify that about three times and you have a girl. You leave her wanting to know more.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Unfortunately, you and Indi are a shrinking group amongst married Americans :(

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I can't speak for Indi, but I am not American.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you think its bad as a guy not knowing or wondering, amplify that about three times and you have a girl. You leave her wanting to know more.

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Two words: Interest Level (I.L.)

While she's wondering about you, her I.L. goes up. Points in your advantage, she does the work for you, her I.L. goes up without you even being around or contacting her. :)

Like I said before: let the girl do the work.

Aim lower, achieve more (haha, couldn't resist Indi).

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Originally Posted by Yggdrasil [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Like I said before: let the girl do the work.

Aim lower, achieve more (haha, couldn't resist Indi).

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Call me dense. Today I get it. LOL.

I'm not American either, Ygg. Vash is, tho, and she's been married longer than I have. Still around the time the earth's crust was congealing tho, so not sure it makes much difference.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Call me dense. Today I get it. LOL.

I'm not American either, Ygg. Vash is, tho, and she's been married longer than I have. Still around the time the earth's crust was congealing tho, so not sure it makes much difference.

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Don't you love playing with words? :P

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Originally Posted by Gribble [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Try not to be so goddamn nice. You know what? Girls like it when the right guy ogles them. Check her out, enjoy the goods. If she looks up meet her eyes and smile. If she's pissed, well, clearly she's a lesbo and you need to move on.

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It's hard to maintain eye contact when a girl catches you looking at her. Looking away just seems like a natural reflex, like flinching when something pricks you or blinking at a loud noise.

Even if honestly intended as a compliment or an ice-breaker, starting the conversation with a comment about her physical appearance may well be taken as a pick up line.