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Quick question need your advice:
Given all the shit that has been going on and also added to the fact the quite obvious flirting with this Tom guy from holiday do I call it a day and end this before it gets messy. I am starting to think that even if she has not cheated on me its obviously an intention of hers as she would not be deleting and sending text messages:
end it or stick with it??
Thoughts?
I wouldn't accept it, especially if our relationship was hanging in the air, and she didn't feel the need to tell you that someone else is going for her affections....nobody can tell you to walk if you dnt want to, but I would seriously doubt that for as long as TOM is on the scene, she isn't getting any closer to sorting her head out...
I wouldn't put up with that.
She might not have physically cheated but the evidence is mounting that she will or would like to.
She hasn't taken one step to show you she's actaully making an effort. That to me would be my answer.
So quick update.
I split with her last night. It was very amicable and we both agreed that our problems could not be solved and that it was better to end things now before it got more complicated. I said that although this Tom issue was causing concern it was not the problem here, the bigger problem was our lack of intimacy.
We have both agreed to share the flat until we can find our own places. We are both confortable about this (we started out as flatmates) and we both know that we can talk to each other if it ever got to be a problem. We have obviously set ground rules down whilst we are still flat sharing, we agreed that we would not bring people back (not friends obviously) and that we agreed we would help each other find our own places etc.
In terms of practicalities we have some stuff to divvy up but thats about it, there are no contract issues etc. Should also add that we rent (I know I mentioned mortgage in my first post but I meant rent) and our contract is on a monthly rolling cycle so no issues there.
Comments welcome
Should also mention our flat has 2 big bedrooms and 2 bath rooms so we have our own spaces.
Also as well, this flat share thing will only be for a few weeks until we can both find our own places. It makes no sense in us moving stuff out to our friends or family for the sake of a few weeks just to move it all again. We are both mature enought to respect each others feelings.
I must admit that although I am a little mixed up at the mo, I am positive. It feels like a big weight off my shoulders.
Break it clean.
Don't leave lingering feelings.
Rebound sucks.
I agree with Reath. Get out of that situation and away from her as soon as you can so you can move on with your life. You've been in "limbo" for way too long. Maybe with future girls you will see the importance of having common interests?? Good luck.
So it has been a week since we split, the flat we share is under contract until 01 Dec although I am spending most of my time at my parents house.
I have expressed an interest in being friends as has she, however at the moment she seems to be taking this so easily almost within her stride with no emotion etc. This upsets me as I am stilling having emotions that I have to deal with.
Does this mean that she does not care about me or is it just the way she deals with this? I am thinking that the best thing for me is to get some decent space, spending several days without seeing each other would help me to get closure, however I cannot completely dissappear as we share the flat until we each find our own places which could take a few weeks.
What do I do, do I try not to worry about her situation and concentrate on just being me or do talk about this etc.
Cheers