Definantly, I lost track of how many times I said "If only I knew then what I do now! beating myself up all the time. Like you this is first time I was dumped and I made so many mistakes through naiveity it was inevitable. I know this is how we learn and adapt. Nothing focus's the mind like this kind of pain and realising that so much of it was my own fault makes it all so much worse. I want to apologise and make her understand but I know thats pointless now as its just too late in the day. So many regrets that I want to resolve but I know I cannot. Theres still some huge part of me that wants her so much to make up for all I got wrong! Why didnt I do this when she gave me the chance too? I left it all go too long and alienated her. Learned the lesson too late.