Why must a girl hide her dirty side to nab a guy long term?

girl68 says:

"It takes a while for some feelings to develop before he is privledged enough to see my sexy kinky side. If you ain't up for the wait, you ain't my guy."

the guy is prob thinking "this b*tch ain't worth the wait." lol

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Obviously, I will stick to being prudish in the early stages. It's proven to work well for me. I'm just curious as to why I have to do it at all.

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I think you should just find the type of guy who is interested in the more adventurous side of sex.

It might be a good idea to not reveal a lot of detail into your past though. Otherwise you risk of being put into the "Used and abused" degrading category from which it's hard to get out.

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Originally Posted by NeoSeminole [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

the guy is prob thinking "this b*tch ain't worth the wait." lol

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"that guy" thinks he's the luckiest guy on earth and is marrying me, lucky me I was worth his wait.

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Originally Posted by shheadz [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd probably wait because I wouldn't know I was waiting for something. I'm surprised that you'd wait that long. One because it would take 6 months for some real feelings to develop, and two because you're suppressing your own kinky urges for such a long time.

I know you're not saying you have boring sex for 6 months, and then whip out the goodies. Wouldn't it be easier though to date someone that's already on the same sex wave-length as you? So you don't have to hide your true sexy self for so long? That's a good reason to get your sexual desires right out in the open early on in the relationship.

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It's a matter of my level of comfortability with my partner. Typically anytime before 6 months I'm not completely "in love" with a man. And I don't share my wildest dreams with just some random hookup.

And it's not like my wildest beat side is supressed. I'm having just as much fun in bed with him already... it's the "spicying" sex that waits. If I put it all out there on the first night, what's the surprise later? It's not like we're having wild kinky sex all the time. I like my meat and potatoes sex like all the rest of us. The kinky shit is once in a while.

Not sure how old you are Laila, but when you start dating men who are secure in themselves, you'll be able to be yourself. I guess it'll give you something to look forward to.

Btw, my grammar is horrible too, but I did find it kind of funny that you didn't even spell grammar correctly :lol:

Last edited by LailaK; Today at 01:19 PM. Reason: edited for grammer

I'm 24 and I agree, guys my age are maddening.

Oh, and...

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Originally Posted by Primo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Btw, my grammar is horrible too, but I did find it kind of funny that you didn't even spell grammar correctly :lol:

Last edited by LailaK; Today at 01:19 PM. Reason: edited for grammer

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:P

It sounds like you're dating the wrong kind of guys. They sound like they're horribly repressed and narrow-minded, lol. Just look for guys who are more laid back, easy going, open-minded, mature, and tolerant of differences. You can figure out if someone is like that just by talking to them for even a short period of time.

Hmm...
I totally get where you're coming from, but at the same time everything in a relationship is a slow reveal.

You don't lay your heart and your mind completely on the table from day one, so why would your sexuality be any different?

Some of it is age, dudes in their 20s are often terrified that ANYone might be sexually more experienced than they are. Make it the girl their f**king and their egos shrival up like raisins. (present company excluded of course ;))

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Originally Posted by LailaK [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm just genuinely curious. I'm not a skank by any means. I can count the amount of guys I've been with on one hand, and it's not even a remotely full hand. I would however label myself as a bit of a slut because once I truly like a guy I can be pretty adventurous.

I'm curious as to why if I hide my slutty side from a guy for as long as possible, basically act like a prude, it seems to be the key to a long relationship. If I reveal any part of that side of myself earlier on, guys tend to pretend they are interested right before running for the hills even before we've had sex. Half of the time I'm just answering their questions honestly. I guess they'd prefer I lie and say stuff like "No I don't like anal, how gross."

Obviously, I will stick to being prudish in the early stages. It's proven to work well for me. I'm just curious as to why I have to do it at all.

Thanks!
Laila

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I hear some girls like it when they get a man to shit on her chest. If it is stuff like that which your after then no shit guys are going to run.

Other than that the reason is that no one wants to date a whore.

haha we are all freaks just takes a lot to get it out of some people I love human nature :) Also not putting yourself out there for everyguy right away is just a smart way to go because guys are crazy for sex and if you just give it that is all it will be about :)

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Originally Posted by cheeze_guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if you just give it that is all it will be about :)

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Cool story bro and all but please speak for yourself.

Oy, it's not a matter of being a whore. In fact, I've only ever had full-on sex with one person. It's not a matter of doing disgusting things either. Just your run of the mill "Hmmm, that sounds interesting dear. Let's try it." sort of deal.

I'm beginning to believe that for guys (at least the ones I meet) it's a lot of posturing, but when it comes down to it they are scared of sex, or at least scared of a woman who wants it.

Example:
A few months ago I dated this dude who was everything I could want. He was tall, fine as hell, funny, and charming. He took me out a few times and was very chivalrous and romantic. By our 4th date I had already decided that regardless of whether or not we became a couple I had gone too long without getting any and he could get it. I invited him up to my apartment and he hesitated. I was embarrassed, but I told him that he didn't have to come up if he didn't want to, that I wouldn't think any less of him... lie, lie, lie. He decided to come up anyway and we talked... We talked for hours. I left the door wide open for him to have his wicked way and instead he talked to me. Now we are "friends" which mostly consists of him IMing me all day and me ignoring him.

It's not just him. I have more totally awesome stories, but I'll spare you.

Slutty because you're kinky or w/e?

I think you are more prude by nature than you realize.

I enjoy throwing guys for a loop. I never talk up my "what I did"s until the relationship has been established.

I wait until we're in the middle of sex, and toss out random suggestions. IE; Banging doggy? "Slap my ass....harder....harder...that's it." And take my cues from there.
If he's into it, I'll run with a sort of flow chart I have going in my head. Once I find something he doesn't get excited about, I'll move backward and find another on-to point.

I have never been the type of girl to lay there and say "Take me," while I stare blankly at the wall, waiting for him to finish thinking about what I saw on teevee that day.
And for me, slutty can be a bedroom term. When I say "I am a slut," I do not mean "I sleep with a million guys," rather "I enjoy experimentation and dirty talk in the bedroom."

Roll a five combo smut talk in the bedroom, and I will be popping off rounds like no tomorrow. :)

I've had a particularly adventurous sex life, so far, and I want my woman to be up for the same things. If she doesn't tell me , how will I know ? As long as she is honest, I can and will accept pretty much anything. I'ts only those women who lie about or evade that I have trouble with. I've had a few FMF threesomes, if she says that she hasn't and I find out later that she has, the relationship will end at that moment. My only criteria is honesty.