A bad week or is this here forever.

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Originally Posted by Coco [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Something cmac said in another post really made sense. Something about recognizing your ex's faults may help the healing process.
Anyone believe in that or agree? Or do you think it just builds resentment

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I think constantly reminding yourself of your ex's flaws definitely helps the healing process for a while. You have to keep reminding yourself why you cannot go back to this person. You do it to avoid the "rosy colored glasses syndrome" where all you do is remember the good things about him.

Once you start feeling closer to being over him, you can start letting these feelings go. He will stop being less of a demon to you and start being just a guy you were with who happened to be wrong for you.

And I'm sorry to hear about your attack. Maybe you could start carrying some pepper spray with you?

You did the right thing, Coco, regardless of what your dumbass friend thinks. Maybe she'll go for Anako and keep him busy enough to leave you alone (if she can get him away from his mama long enough).

It's a big world full of people. One of them is right for you. He wasn't it.

You might feel this way for months. Take good care of yourself in the meantime. We have three selves: physical, emotional and mental. Right now, your emotional self is weak and shredded. The other two have to carry the burden, so remember to eat right and think good thoughts.

I remember an old friend telling me that a while after a break-up, funnily you start reminiscing over the good moments and it's like your subconscious is blocking all the painful stuff.

This is exactly how I felt following the aftermath of the major break up in my life.

Please do not fall into this trap of thinking you have made a mistake.

Feeling depressed after a break-up is completely normal. You are mourning what could have been, should have been if both of you had been compatible.

In an ideal world as they say...

After the depression phase you'll start rebuilding yourself again. It is part of human nature to believe again and to hope for happiness.

As for the dreadful rest of your story it confirms another rule...that when you hit a bad patch all things seem to conspire to make your life even more miserable.
Noone deserves to experience such an assault and especially not when you are feeling so low.

You have been brave and you will be able to see this through.

We all have exprienced a particularly rough patch in our life or we will. When the going gets tough we all typically do a good clean up in our circle of friends.

The supportive ones will stay (very few) and the others will just fade in the landscape!!!

You know what? Treat yourself as much as you can and because you can now.

Bubble hot baths/shopping/movies/get the books you like/travel if you can/visit a long lost aunt somewhere far away from all this crap/maybe try to change jobs?

Take care and hold on in there!

@Shheadz... That's what I am afraid of. But see... Frasbee gave me some advice in another thread. He said.. I should talk to a friend, someone who is happy and learn from them. I took that advice and spoke to that someone. She knows who. And... it worked. Mostly because I said everything from beginning to where I am right now and just reading it gave me a headache. It made me say... how much more are you going to take? After talking to someone who has found happiness and let them read what I thought was happiness... I realized it wasn't. Not too long after our conversation... I firmly told Anako to get out of my house, give me my keys and to never contact me again.

I don't want to be bitter and mean. All men can't be the same right? Someone is out there for me I hope. I just hope that when he shows up I've learned more and I'm better. Right now I'm a mess.

@Star, Giga and Sookie: thanks a lot. I really dig that advice :D I think I will take a vacation but not far... just to the cemetary to visit my siblings resting places. I haven't been in a while and I usually feel better once I leave. As far as the job thing... I want to work hard for a promotion. When I am 27 I want to apply to become an Agent in my field. If I work really hard I think I can do it. It's my dream.

There are plenty of better men out in the world, you were just wholely blinded by the thoughts of life without him. Sorry Coco, the guy was a tool for how he treated you, and I am not alone in my thoughts concerning him.

As for the workplace attack....you are far, far to calm about it, that kind of worries me. You just had a guy almost successfully rape you, you NEED to report this and get it documented with your employer. Like Mish said, is an occupational and health hazard.

Get OSHA involved if your employer doesn't respond favorably. You think Obama has power, watch what kind of power OSHA wields.
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Something that has always had me wondering.....do you have a small social circle of close friends? I feel like your ex kind of secluded you from the world, almost detached you in a way.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Get OSHA involved if your employer doesn't respond favorably. You think Obama has power, watch what kind of power OSHA wields.

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In the construction world, OSHA is God, and he is not merciful.

Though, she's not in construction, so I'm not sure how much authority they have where she is.

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

In the construction world, OSHA is God, and he is not merciful.

Though, she's not in construction, so I'm not sure how much authority they have where she is.

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It doesn't matter what field it is, OSHA has free reign over any operation within the U.S.

They can literally walk in the door of a workplace, and if they find cause, can simply shut down a company permanently. You don't want to fvck with those guys.

They exist to make sure you are safe at your place of employment Coco. Use them.

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It doesn't matter what field it is, OSHA has free reign over any operation within the U.S.

They can literally walk in the door of a workplace, and if they find cause, can simply shut down a company permanently. You don't want to fvck with those guys.

They exist to make sure you are safe at your place of employment Coco. Use them.

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Then I support this.

@CB... It does seem that way but only because I've encountered worse situations because of my line of work and life experience. I notified my Lieutenant and the District Office, there was already an ongoing investigation because this same guy is believed to be a former agent who was fired last year. They believe he also was responsible for another attack on another female worker. I did all the necessary paperwork this morning.

OSHA has some authority but not much considering we are in the highest level of security... there has been many breaches. The Headquarters is aware of the problem and they've already pulled the security tapes. I'll be viewing them with my lawyer present tomorrow.

Frasbee & CB... Frasbee I swear that was the best advice you could have ever given me and I went to the perfect person and she totally got it. Anako didn't really alienate me from my closest friends. My closest.. there is only Chels, Jezi, Darren, Danielle, Bebe and Santino... they haven't really gone anywhere but they are so busy. We hardly spend time together and when we do... I never want to waste my time talking about my problems. I have too many. Plus.. Anako didn't want me to talk about our problems with them because he doesn't want people to "look at him, a certain way". This is why he wouldn't allow me to post pictures of me and him together because it would expose his identity. Anywho the rest of my friends are girls I met when I was at UMD and when I was participating in a study at Georgetown University. Rich Uber Snobbish girls.

The whole posting pictures thing was absurd from the get go. I remember you posting about him controlling your use of facebook, I was floored when I heard that.

Keep posting about your decision, I am sure as a collective group, the forum could give you reasons supporting your choice to do what you did for the next decade. I am proud that you finally did it :D

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Originally Posted by Cbrider [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

The whole posting pictures thing was absurd from the get go. I remember you posting about him controlling your use of facebook, I was floored when I heard that.

Keep posting about your decision, I am sure as a collective group, the forum could give you reasons supporting your choice to do what you did for the next decade. I am proud that you finally did it :D

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i guess i am the only who thinks it's her loss for breaking up.

Why do you think it is my loss though Indignant?

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Originally Posted by Coco [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why do you think it is my loss though Indignant?

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the way that you described him, he has more pros than cons.

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Originally Posted by Indignant [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

the way that you described him, he has more pros than cons.

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There's truth to this:

Pro: He has money
Pro: He has a big dick
Pro: He's career minded

Con: He sucks as a human being

There's definitely more Pros than Cons here.

damn, Fras, you covered it all.