Well, as you know, mine is to be married for about as long as you (20 years), with a family but without the messiness of a previous divorce and step kids. I juggle husband, family, career far more successfully than most women and I think that might be more the ideal the OP is going for. She doesn't sound to me suited to the whole 'blended family' thing and the sacrifices it requires. It certainly would never be my choice; based on the women I see in 2nd marriages, one has to be prepared to throw reasonable expectations out the window and the OP sounds just a bit too controlled to ride along with the chaos. I can relate completely.Quote:
Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
OP also seems quite intelligent and aware of the issues, so I don't understand why you are being so hard on her. It seems irrational. She has the intelligence to try to get a sober second thought on her situation and she seems quite willing to discuss the issues, but quite rightly sets boundaries on how they are raised. But, as I said, for those not accustomed to messy, emotionally charged drama, that can be difficult to obtain in such situations.
I could be wrong about this, but her posts sound a lot like myself at her age. So perhaps my own opinion is suspect. Certainly, if she is looking for guidance on how to become a wife to this guy with teenagers then you are the 'go to' on this subject. With one major difference: you got to raise your stepchildren into teenagers. You had input during a key developmental period. The OP doesn't. So, the whole 'manners' thing is totally the wrong focus. That's not the real problem here, IMO.