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The age-gap between you two must be significant. She's young, playing games, while you're older, and ready for just that one person. She's cute, adorable, and everything you remember about her makes you happy. But teddy bears gather dust and end up sitting lost in the attic over time. So will she, so just take a deep breath and live YOUR life.
Everyone its been basically two weeks now and I am still really struggling. Sleeping in, not eating, having issues. I concluded that because I have never really let anyone into my feelings and heart. This is the first time so it is taking a toll on me.
I know everyone EVERYONE says dont call her etc but what i think i need is closure. I am dying to write her an email and say. "I just need to know what is going on, if you have moved on that is fine it was good to know you but just let me know so I can also move on. I really liked you and enjoyed our time together."
I dont know something that would end this mental torment I am going through. I dont know if her closure would end it though but it would at least end the thoughts of "what is going on?"
Closure isn't what you need. The relationship is over and that is all the closure you should need. What you need is to occupy yourself instead of moping around your house, whiling away the hours daydreaming of her. Where are you friends and why aren't they dragging your ass out and about? That is their primary job in this situation.
The only thing you'd be inviting into your life by contacting her is more drama. It will only force you and her to rehash the reasons you broke up, and why this situation sucks. She may even give you false hope about a future reconciliation, which will do nothing for you right now. You have to move on with the knowledge that you will survive and you will grow from this.
It sucks because you wonder if any of the decision you've made are the right ones. You start questioning your whole life and whether or not you've taken the right path, even if you're the one who's been dumped. One day a time though. Anytime your thoughts drift to her, try to bring them back to the present. This is why many people advise getting involved in physical activities like working out or club sports. When your body is busy, your mind is focused and doesn't have room for extraneous thought. You need a lot of this.
I know over time this depression and heartache will subside. It's so powerful right now and maybe this is a good thing for me so I can experience what other people have told me they have had to go through. I'm sure if you guys were near me you probably would have smacked me upside the head to smarten me up and although I fight it I cannot avoid looking at her facebook and this urge to email her is so powerful I have to fight it all the time.
I went on her facebook and she put on the title of her facebook page for the past few days "Thieves, she and him" I wondered what it was so I looked it up and its a song and these are the lyrics. Maybe because She had mentioned how she liked a songs lyrics a lot with some random song when we were together...now I'm thinking she is reaching out? I'm probably dillusional at this point being down and out for two weeks.
"thieves, she and him lyrics"
There's thieves among us
Painting the walls
All kinds of lies, and lies
I never told it all
What's in my pocket?
You never knew
You didn't know me well
So well as I knew you
And I know
And you know too
That a love like ours
Is terrible news
But that wont stop me crying
No, that wont stop me
Crying over you
I'm not a prophet
Old love is in me
New love just seeps right in
And it make me guilty
Why do you look like that?
It's not all that bad
I'll see you sometime
Sometimes lonely isn't sad
And I know
And you know too
That a love like ours
Is terrible news
But that won't stop me crying
No, that won't stop me
Crying over you
No, that won't stop me
Crying over you
No, that won't stop me
Crying over you
We two are makers
Just made this mess
Two broken hearts don't beat
Any less
There's thieves among us
Painting the walls
With all kinds of lies
And lies I never told it all
And I know
And you know too
That a love like ours
Is terrible news
But that won't stop me crying
No, that won't stop me
Crying over you
No, that won't stop me
Crying over you
No, that won't stop me
Crying over you
Someone below the lyrics put what they thought the lyrics meant
I think it's about a couple, they are together, really care about each other, want to be together, but these "thieves", or "some other person" is coming between them and now they can't be together. She knows it can't be, he knows it can't, but they still want it. She meets other people, but feel guilty cause she still wants that one she can't have
My friend emailed me and told me to do this: The only thing I can think of is for you to call her – no text message, no face book etc. – if she answer great if not I would leave her the following message . That you’ve really been sick, are under a DR’s care and hope that you will be better in a couple of weeks. After you get that out tell her that you really miss her and that you really would like to see her – that you really need to see her – you miss her and would she please call you. I would not go into more details – I would leave that message almost verbatim – but from the heart. If she calls tell her you went into a really deep depression, that she means a lot to you and you would like to see her – if she responds than you are on your own from there.
I also had another friend say just email her and tell her "I dont know what is going on but if you can tell me I can move on and not wonder" something along those lines.
ugh I'm so confused and its not that your words are not hitting home to me its just I'm so desperately trying to get over this and its brutal.
So, he's encouraging you to lie to her in an effort to bait her into contacting you? I don't think that is a good idea at all.
call her now and if she doesn't answer, break up. don't text her, no other contact. she's ignoring you. if she calls back hours later ignore the call. i get the feeling you are both quite young. let her go. she is not good news for you.
Hes not encouraging me to lie. It is the truth because i was so messed up he advised me to see a doctor because i was/am a catastrophic disaster. I have depression but it is manageable but after this I had to go on anti depressants which still have not taken effect (3 to 4 weeks). His point was because me and her are not at the Love stage it is not wise to tell a female your more personal issues like depression. We all have issues and we dont share them with someone right away. So what he was saying was to just tell her I fell ill because I certainly did. This was like fuel to a fire.Quote:
Originally Posted by slimla [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
But I was more inquiring about the lyrics of the song. She had posted the title to her facebook caption and its been there for 3 days now. Im guessing... well can you read above I already wrote it. =_(
I'm slowly recovering. its been several weeks and I am still mourning this. I cannot control my emotions and its like waves of sadness and depression that roll in out of know where. The two most painful stabs that have happened after I finally spoke to her and she said she is not ready for a committed relationship yet. She is still obviously playing the field and i died inside but i know I have to move forward.
8 hours after we talked on the phone I am driving down a one lane street in a city of over 15 million people. We do not go the same way we do not live close to each other etc. I look up and she is in front of me, she is right (&(*U there in front of me. I freaked out and went to text her which i shouldnt have to say wtf are you doing in front of me?? well when i was texting i look up and she is at a complete stop. I slammed on my breaks and stopped inches from her car. She freaks out and I call her and explain what happen. We both cant believe it and i was so messed up with emotions and got angry saying "why do you have to be in front of me why do you have to be in front of me." anyways that was about two weeks ago.
Last night I go on a date and we go to a bar. I get a drink and turn around and there SHE is with another guy. She notices me and texts me with lol are you at x bar? and "come and say hi" well i didnt respond.... It was like a knife in my throat and I was suppose to smile and be okay and have fun with my date. It was too much because on top of that the guy she was with was the guy I thought she was *(&* when i was dating her.
She was flirting with guys and holding his hand from time to time and i almost threw up i was so nauseous. I smiled and pretended to have a good time. I CANNOT explain the pain I felt in my heart. and
1. why the *(&(* does she keep my number in her phone
2. why does she want me to come over and say hi? to make her new guy jealous or to enjoy and get a high out of the situation.
3. why did she have to have her group of guys and this *(&(*& get so close to us. why didnt she go to the other side of the bar which was HUGE.
my gut was right my intuition was right. She was sleeping with this guy she was with this guy and she is so hurtful and so cruel to do this to someone who never hurt a hair on her head.
she was so drunk at the bar she had to be escorted down the stairs too. I know she is 21 and in the first few months of partying and experiencing bars. I just dont care I loved this girl and still love her and I am taking everyday every minute to repeat my motto "I am over this bitch, I am over this bitch, i hate this bitch i hate this bitch" that is my motto and I repeat it when I'm sad which is all day. I am moving on and taking the steps but it feels like a knife is in my heart and throat and I cannot pull them out.
why does she keep my number? I hate her so much for letting me fall in love with her. i hate her so much i hate her for being so beautiful and for making sparks fly when we kissed. for making the hair stand up on the back of my neck when you grabbed my hand when we were walking. For laying in bed after making love and looking at me with her nose touching mine and saying "i like you sooo much" over and over. I hate your for this I hate you I hate you
Some people keep numbers in their phone because they like to pretend they have lots of contacts. Sort of like how people collect friends on Facebook.
And that was friggin' lame of her to ask you to say "Hi". Why in the hell would you want to? Sounds like she tried to stir up some drama. I think you're better off without her.
its been two weeks and although I'm not crying every hour which I am embarrassed to say as a grown man but it is virtually uncontrollable. I am now able to control that most of the time but the feeling of the rejection and my love has a pain that feels different and its worse. I never understood why all these songs were about heart break and women because I never experienced love or lust or romantic love with anyone and she was the first. Now every song every word is brutal to listen to. I am at 2 weeks and I need her to leave my mind and I am so exhausted from being like this and crying and not being able to pick myself when I'm down. It makes me feel weak and out of control.
You're doing fine. Stay the course, and you will be fine. Most of us have been through exactly what you're talking about, and we all survived.
I dont mean to keep dragging my post along. At night it is especially hard, my mind races and visions of her keep coming back even when I fight them. It scares me to know that love or what a broken hearts power is. It is completely debilitating to me and I feel powerless. It takes so much focus to keep her out of my mind and visions of her with another guy make me nauseous because I know its true. She is gone forever and she is seeing another guy. I know intellectually the right things to do but this feeling I have has moved deep into my gut and its like a dark ball that just wont go away. I hate it because I feel like I dont have control of my own body.
I can smile and shake it off but then it just comes back and I see something and it triggers it. I'm a grown man and I have to avoid people because I'm scared I will break down. It is so embarrassing and it is so emasculating to be this messed up. Why did she just disappear, one day she is laying in bed and waking me up just to put her nose to mine to say "I like you a lot" and the way she was saying it was that she was as though she was saying i love you but she was just too scared to say that word.
We shared SO many intimate moments and so many times we were together and without warning she just disappears. How can someone be that cruel to take a man who opens his heart to someone for the FIRST TIME and she just disappears.
The WORST part is this weekend I was with a girl (trying to forget about her) and I was just feeling like shit but putting on that fake smile. I get two beers and when i turn around there she is across the bar with 4 guys and one of them was the guy i suspected she had an interest in. I walk to the other side and we sit. She texts me asking if I'm at the bar and the first thought that goes through my mind is WHY does she keep my number???
she then says "come over and say hi!!!" and I never responded. This is a level of cruelty I cannot even explain to dump someone and then to try to get me to come up and say hi to her when she is flirting with 4 guys and one of them is the guy i think she is f*(&.. at the end of the night somehow she found her way to about 15 feet from me with her possee of guys. I was so pissed off me and the girl I was with got up and went to the other side of the bar as far away as possible.
Two days later her friend comes over to my place to give me a bag of my stuff and ask for her stuff. I told him I threw it all away... I just CANNOT take this sh*(&*( .. maybe I'm a sensitive guy who has way too many emotions but as hard as I fight them they have a mind of their own.
its been now about 3 weeks and I'm still a mess
its nice just to hear from anyone I know I keep dragging this post but I'm very alone right now and your words help
dont worry brother...i have been in a very familiar situation just like you...and i really want to help you..from what you have written i can clearly make out that you love your gf very much...i will give you a book that changed my life forever..hope that will help you:tinyurl.com/loveguide4u
Do you like South Park? I can PM you a link to a certain streaming site airing SP 24/7. That should cheer you up. :D