believe me, i am not excusing it, i am owning it. i think posting anything here at all was an attempt to move on one way or another.like i said. i knew deep down, i was just being blinded by, well i don't know now, it just seems stupid. i called him out for using me and he swore that wasn't true. whatever. i knew it then and i for sure know it now. i told him once this ship had sailed there was no chance of buying another ticket and i need to stick to that. holy crap, i can't believe what i had talked myself into.