Is she cold toward the childred? Yes and No. She is generally a loving mother. She does however exhibit a selfish streak toward the children; not always, but more than I care to see. Over time I've concluded that she can be very selfish, immature and uncaring.
I believe she is content with the way things are. I believe she thinks this is how marriage should be; her parents have a miserable relationship, as do all of her siblings. I don't think she is pushing toward a divorce. She has never on her own expressed any disatisfaction with the marriage. She has, however, expressed disatisfaction over my helping a female friend with a divorce (I'm and attorney). This only came up during an arguement and I believe it was being used as excuse to deflect attention from the real issues. This friend and I have effectively a brother/sister relationship. Our only "contact" is a few e-mails here and there. It's purely platonic. Again, I believe this was used to deflect from the real issues. It shows the immaturity. I have explored this avenue with my counselor, and after much looking into it she dismissed it as not being an issue and was actually very ppositive that I was helping a friend.
Was it ever good? Eh.....there was romance. Looking back, there was never communication, companionship or friendship.
What happened over the last ten years? She became content with the same relationship that I found lonely and recently miserable. I' have reached my tiping point. She remains content. Otherwise no major problems. I honestly believe she feels that she has her nice home, her 2 beautiful children, a nice home and noo need to work. it's her "dream". Unfortunatly her dream doesn't include any companionship/friendship with ther husband. As I said her parents are this same way.
Does she have her own issues? She will never recognize it, but she has low self esteem. She has no friends and "talks" to noone (me included). She has pushed all of hefr friends away.
Yes, I believe that maybe I am finally seeing the writing on the wall. I resolved to do everything I could to save our marriage so that if it failed I could walk away knowing that I did all that I could for my childrens sake. I think i'm realizing I've done all that i can. It is very upsetting that she has done zero. It's very hard to come to terms with though. I get the impression from my counselor that she feels i've done all that i can....she seems to focus now on my happiness outside of the marriage (ie. the children, hobbies, ect) andcoming to terms with the situtation.
Thak you all so much for your insight!
