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Really, this could go either way, but you two are "doing the dance" and how long do you want to keep up the "come-here-go-away" thing?
Follow the advice in those books about working on yourself and taking the focus off of her. In the end you'll find that you have more success at work, a better physique (because you have plenty of time to work out!), a fun group of friends, exciting things to do (there's plenty of hobbies or activities to explore) and you'll become such a chick magnet that you might not even think about her anymore. If you have the mindset that you don't want any serious relationships right now, because it time for you to get happy with YOU, women will find you irresistable. People always want the ones that look like a challenge, right? Not that you're out to play games, but it's just human nature.
In the long run, if you get on with your life and make things as awesome for yourself as possible, you'll end up having such a great relationship with yourself that you can't help but attract someone equally great into your life. Maybe it will be her, maybe it won't, but it probably won't matter at that point.
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she claims she's in "depressed mode" right now because of her job. (she's a nurse and I can fully understand that it would make her sad) I'm backing off of her for a while. I can't be her crutch anymore.
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Hmmm... Seems like depression in a MAJOR problem for relationships especially in girls. That I believe was a big part in why my ex recently broke up with me.
I've tried some things out of desperation with my ex and nothing good came out of them. Mainly what I am doing is trying EVERYDAY to find something to look forward too. Smile, get smiles from other people (especially females), laugh, and try and have a good time. It sure it an emotional roller coaster, so try and take advantage of those times you feel better. The thing you have to ask is "Do I want to be with somebody this complicated who might not want me back?". I know you want them no matter what, but I find it best if you find reason NOT to love them. It's hard stuff, I know. =/ Hang in there bro.