you seem very intelligent and expirienced in most aspects of life, except women, which is odd, that is if i remember another post in a different thread correctly where you said you havent had sex in 9 years, that sir is a problem, that you should fix, you need to understand not every guy, and definitaly not every girl is out for a family and kids, alot of us just want to have fun, and that SHOULD be a goal in your day at somepoint, even if not accomplished everyday, you need to go out, and feel some affection and love, and have some laughs with a woman, even if it be for only one night, i cant tell anyone what to do so its just from my perspective that i feel you should.. im not saying you should mask your loneliness through alchohal and women, but its defenitaly good to be with a woman now and then, even if it does not lead to a relationship.