I can see why you find this other guy attractive. You need to tell your boyfriend calmly how much he hurts your feelings. How much you've needed him and it feels like he's abandoned you. Were you always there for emotional support when he needed it? Is he having rough times in his own life at the minute? Is there any viable reason why he would be so stressed and snappy? You say that he used to be kind, gentle, loving, and everything you wanted. What has changed?
Because, when people start behaving this way, it is usually a cry for help in it's own right. When women get upset, they tend to seek affection ^^. When men get upset, we tend to be angry and nasty ^^. Both of you have problems, but I think only one of you is talking about them.
^ At the beginning of a relationship people can mask very well their true nature of being. Many relationships end up this way. You put on your best face when you are trying to impress someone....once you've won them over, you can go back to being how you truly are. It's just like anything really.... you go to a job interview dressed in your nicest suit and ready to impress. Once you got the job and are there for several years....you don't need to try as hard anymore or try hard to make friends in your work environment anymore. You start cussing and swearing and slacking off and arriving late for work, taking longer lunch breaks etc. etc.
Well ^ if that's your attitude, good luck to you. So what you're saying is, it's best not to try, nor to ask. just assume that's the solution and walk away? 'right, he's just an arsehole pretending to me a nice guy, I'm out of here'. Any wonder relationships and marriages never work these days. My mother said something to me once, she said 'Nobody is the same forever. Good people change, so do bad people'. And for your point, people tend to behave this way as countermeasure. I can tell you that it will not just be him who has changed. Perhaps you need a short break, a holiday. Some time apart. maybe he needs pills? Maybe you need to not be needy as much. it's never just one person's fault. Passive aggressiveness or refusal to participate in an argument can be just as damaging. So honestly, I mean this in the nicest way, soulsearch yourself, while you criticize him for his flaws. Honestly. He is being an arsehole with some of the things he says, granted. But there's a reason there somewhere. Until you know what it is, you can't jump to conlusions. people in relationships do crazy things. And when you really get to know someone, and see them under a microscope day in day out, nobody's perfect, or anywhere near it.
Your skin needs to get thicker as a relationship goes on, not thinner. I'll be honest, it all gets a bit pansy wansy after a while. Call him something back. maybe he does it cause he wants to see a rise out of you? Were you more fiery at the begginning of the relationship? Explore every angle. You WILL find a solution that works.
Did you know, when you use words like 'honestly' the way you have, it take away from your argument? Honestly. LOL.Quote:
Originally Posted by GPLOC [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
As for the rest, I agree that ppl can change but a person's core values hardly ever change (or change much) once they reach adulthood.
You have to decide whether the positives outweigh the negatives in your relationship. If the negatives dominates then just break it off with your boyfriend. You shouldn't then try to break the relationship between your guyfriend and his girlfriend either. Just take some time off for yourself.
If the positives dominates, then you are just nitpicking. No one is perfect. When you get to know someone better, regardless who it is, you will always find flaws over time. The more your nitpick, the less there will be left of the relationship. If you still love him, then try work things out.