why do men or even women for that matter have a image of there dream person but marry

As to the men that left your women folk with babies to raise on their own is because those men didn't like real responsibility or had the balls to take responsibility for getting them pregnant to begin with....nothing was stopping them from slipping on a condom or pulling out.

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Originally Posted by dem862 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it is fair to say to most MEN who want to escape from a bad relationship do use porn. The other things you mentioned, drugs, alcohol, shopping/spending money, and gambling, all require money. Porn is now freely available to anybody with an internet connection. And it is much easier to hide and deny the use of porn. What appears to be happening is that SOME men find it easier and simpler to watch porn and masturbate when the wife/girlfriend is away. Then he has used up his sexual desire when she is around. He is no longer a slave to his testosterone and doesn't have to face the rejection, excuses, and judgment of women. Of course, you and I know that porn is a poor substitute for a loving, caring and intimate relationship, but it is an addiction and once acquired is as difficult as any other addiction to shake. Many men addicted to porn, as well as the easy sex associated with prostitutes, don't even realize they are missing out on anything. And many don't even care.

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It's been around since the beginning of time. Men like to look at pics of naked women...so be it. If it is a porn addiction it does turn into PAID subscriptions. But you are taking about extremes. Having a toke or a drink once in awhile doesn't make someone a druggy or an alcoholic now does it? So browsing a porn site once in awhile for masturbation time doesn't make them an addict.

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Originally Posted by dem862 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I may presume whatever I want. You do not have the right to tell another person what to do.

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When you speak on behalf of "most people" then we can not only judge your statement, we can refute it as an assumption based on no fact. Don't argue when you make a statement that encompasses more than your own opinion, you just look like an idiot.

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Originally Posted by Cerby [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

When you speak on behalf of "most people" then we can not only judge your statement, we can refute it as an assumption based on no fact. Don't argue when you make a statement that encompasses more than your own opinion, you just look like an idiot.

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My statements are backed up by statistics, logic, and common sense. I don't care about looking like an idiot, and I find your statement insulting to real idiots. And don't tell me what to do.

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Originally Posted by dem862 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think it is fair to say to most MEN who want to escape from a bad relationship do use porn. The other things you mentioned, drugs, alcohol, shopping/spending money, and gambling, all require money. Porn is now freely available to anybody with an internet connection. And it is much easier to hide and deny the use of porn. What appears to be happening is that SOME men find it easier and simpler to watch porn and masturbate when the wife/girlfriend is away. Then he has used up his sexual desire when she is around. He is no longer a slave to his testosterone and doesn't have to face the rejection, excuses, and judgment of women. Of course, you and I know that porn is a poor substitute for a loving, caring and intimate relationship, but it is an addiction and once acquired is as difficult as any other addiction to shake. Many men addicted to porn, as well as the easy sex associated with prostitutes, don't even realize they are missing out on anything. And many don't even care.

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I call BS on this post, sorry! My husband and I are extremely active and when he is away on business, I know he watches porn and obviously, gets off. It has nothing to do with our marriage being sexless or our attraction. When we are together, we are still, after 10 years, with each other. So seriously, whatever. Most men watch porn. Most men know porn is not real and those who have sex addictions, are completely different from a normal man. So really, quit spewing crap.

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Originally Posted by heartach [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I have been married for a while and have always had a hard time with guys. Looking at porn ever since I was in collage, and I have always been stumped by the fact that men and some women have a dream person or a fantasy person. I am a bigger person and my husband says he prefers women that have some meat on there bones and not the real skinny ones and he even has a certain hair color he likes but the porn he. Looks at dosent look like what he told me he likes. He looks at trhe complete oPposite and I have has friends do the same thing. Why is this? I understand mewn need a change and rthey are progeamed to do this but it just. Makes me fewel like I am. Lieed to,not good enough, and feel like last pickings since he wasn't able to have his dream and regreating he married a non barbie girl. Dose he want me to loolk like the girls he looks at?

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Sigh......I don't understand why women insist on thinking that because their men look at porn, they are not good enough. I know men with insanely hot wives/girlfriends who still look at porn. Men are stimulated visually, c'est la vie. The only time it should be an issue is if he's turning down sex with you regularly and instead looking at porn.

Just....relax. Porn shouldn't be an insult to you or cause you to feel less than attractive. If you have self confidence you won't feel threatened by it, so maybe just start working on your self esteem issues OP.

It is great that you know you have a problem in your marriage. Most people blindly wast years without understanding the real situation. Since you already know that you have a problem you can start fixing and save your marriage.

Once I recommend to one my closer friend a good site about marriage issues and relationship problems that is relationsuccess.com
My friend was glad to visit this as she got some good tips to save her falling marriage.

I personally brows the same site and I believe on relationsuccess.com/saving-your-marriage/save-failing-marriage-divorce-7-lessons/ you have the answer for your problem.

Your immediate action would give better results and wish you very best!

//Udanie