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Sorry but you went way overboard with not trusting her. She had had enough. There's nothing you can do to try to "win her back". She's made up her mind. The more you come around and try to ask for forgiveness and another chance, the more she will want to run away from you. Just leave her alone. I know it'll be hard, but it is what it is. Maaaaaaaaybe she'll come around if you give her a lot of time to herself... but I highly doubt it. No one wants to be with someone who wants to constantly check their phone or emails and has no trust in their s/o. You said you did trust her, and you just wanted "clues" that something was wrong but I call BS. You just wanted to see what she and her guy pals were talking about. You didn't trust her. Period.
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My boyfriend and I have been going out for a few years. The first couple of months he and his best friend Michelle went out everyday when I was in school. They would get matching shoes, share straws, eat sushi, go running together, and watch movies and you get the idea.When he was not with me he was with her. I"m not the jealous type but then people started asking why I let him do things like that with her. In addition to that 90% of his friends were females.Then I recognized that when you're in a relationship you have to kind of give up stuff like that with your female friends because that's just not appropriate if you're in a relationship. Youre gf there needs to recognize that what she's doing is inappropriate and she should tone it down. I don't think you should ask her to cut all ties with her guy friends, but she needs to understand that she's not single anymore. Trust me, you need to tell her. I told my bf and it took him a couple of months to tone it down. To this day though, he still does other things for his other girlfriends but jealousy is just something we all can't control.
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My boyfriend and I have been going out for a few years. The first couple of months he and his best friend Michelle went out everyday when I was in school. They would get matching shoes, share straws, eat sushi, go running together, and watch movies and you get the idea.When he was not with me he was with her. I"m not the jealous type but then people started asking why I let him do things like that with her. In addition to that 90% of his friends were females.Then I recognized that when you're in a relationship you have to kind of give up stuff like that with your female friends because that's just not appropriate if you're in a relationship. Youre gf there needs to recognize that what she's doing is inappropriate and she should tone it down. I don't think you should ask her to cut all ties with her guy friends, but she needs to understand that she's not single anymore. Trust me, you need to tell her. I told my bf and it took him a couple of months to tone it down. To this day though, he still does other things for his other girlfriends but jealousy is just something we all can't control. Hopefully your gf's understanding to your feelings. Best of luck
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what is it with guys becoming so intimidated by other men? who gives a rats ass if her guy friends are having some kind of sexual fantasy about her. your issue should be with them, not her. she did absolutely nothing to warrant the incessant snooping. the problem wasn't her or the kinds of friends she hangs out with...the problem was your insecurity, plain and simple.
i am also a girl that has mainly guy friends...i'm not a girly-girl and would rather avoid all the drama and stress that comes with having girlfriends. i agree, when in a committed relationship there comes a time when hanging out with friends of the opposite sex should be minimized out of respect for your partner, and theirs. i have two close friends from HS who are both men and they are both married. i talk with them occasionally, and we try to make plans to hang out as a group (with our partners) a couple times a year. i get along with their wives and my guy friends have always bent over backwards to make my bfs feel welcome and a part of the gang.
you definitely jumped the gun and let your insecurities get the best of you. your lack of confidence in her and the relationship was rather apparent and it turned her off...it would have turned me off too. there is nothing worse than being in a relationship with a guy who is incredibly insecure and just looks for things to go wrong. you said it yourself, she hadn't done anything to warrant your behavior. she was upfront with you about her relationship with her guy friends, didn't conceal her conversations with them through email/phone/text/etc., she had nothing to hide...and yet you just kept digging deeper and deeper for something that wasn't there. if anything, your behavior is what raises a serious red flag in my mind. did an ex girlfriend of yours cheat on you? what happened in your past to make it so hard for you to allow yourself to trust her?
in the end, this was hopefully a learning experience for you. either find a girl who has more female friends than guy friends, or learn to be a bit more secure in your relationship. if she hasn't done anything to warrant suspicion, then there is no reason for you to worry. you were your own worst enemy in this situation. learn to control yourself when you start having those insecure thoughts and you will be a much happier man.
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