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There are too many secrets in your relationship. If he is keeping secrets from other important people in his life, how can you trust him not to keep secrets from you? I don't think what you feel is love. It is either lust or infatuation. If you enjoy his company, you can probably continue to enjoy that, but if you are thinking about a long-term relationship and possibly starting a family, I think you are opening yourself up to a lifetime of drama and unhappiness. Good luck.
I agree about the secrets. Here's the situation you want to be dealing with:
He has a cordial relationship with his ex and they agree on a shared parenting plan. He takes his responsibility to his son seriously and nurtures the relationship with his son and family.
His family is interested in meeting you and welcomes you to their home b/c he has said such great things about you. They do not make you feel insecure b/c of issues of caste.
As a 35 yo adult, the fact he can't facilitate any of that says to me he is still essentially a child. Is this really the kind of guy you want to be father to *your* children? Sounds like he needs a mom. This is the reality of what you will have to deal with if you marry him. Once the romance bloom fades, you are going to be the one worrying about these things. Just like you are now, here on this forum.
I suggest you tell him what you want, what you think is reasonable for your situation. Tell him to call you when he's got his life and issues sorted out.
If he really loves you, fear should not stop him from taking steps to introduce you to his family as a potential partner. He needs to grow up and learn to address your feelings and needs by taking the right action.
you are all right but guess im just as much as a coward because i would be afraid to tell my family. I dont think its fair to say its not love because i have stuck with him through some bad times and have neva felt lyk this with any1 else what i feel 4 him. He is my 'one' but unfortunatley with many faults. Should i leave him and live my own life? I wish things were simpler :-( x
You are fantasizing what it could be like but not accepting the reality. See him for what he his and the implication of his fear / immobility on your life. Don't waste your time. Just because you have invested so much, it doesn't mean there is a future. Discontinue your relationship with him before you hurt more. Start a new life. There are better guys.Quote:
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