We've argued in the past, and I've learned over the years that there is a particular pattern that she will insist upon. She will refuse to communicate with me for two days, give or take a few hours. Until then, it's okay if I apologize via text, but persistent attempts to contact her will only delay our eventual reunion. I've already reached out and apologized.
I'm going to wait for things to calm down for a while, and then I'm going to bring up the counseling idea again. Either couples counseling or counseling just for her. I wish that I was the problem, because then I would just go and get help and work hard at becoming a better person. But I'm not the one with the traumatic history. I don't mind debating ideas with people, but arguments with her sometimes leave me feeling sickened afterwards. It's perfectly reasonable for two people to have different opinions or beliefs, but it isn't reasonable for that disagreement to lead to personal insults or violence.