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Ill just add-sometimes you need to take a few steps back in order to move forward. Have you suggested going back to basics with her? I get thats how she feels loved but you can still have the intimacy and closeness in other ways. Its worth a try. If it helps you to relax and put the focus on something else for awhile then just try it. She wants to fix this as much as you do so theres no harm in suggesting it.
Have you explained to her that her reaction is making the issue worse?
I know its not easy for guys to talk about these things, its embaressing and upsetting but you have to. Communication is the key
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Chrisso, maybe there wasn't enough chemistry for you with this girl and you need a higher level of attraction and/or a stronger connection with a woman in order to feel properly stimulated. I would suggest you to see a physician just to make sure that everything is fine and give yourself time until you become sexually interested in someone else. Don't put any pressure on yourself, this is not an obligation, it's for you to enjoy at the right moment and with the right person.
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chrisso i think you should put a stop to this fwb. it doesnt have to be her call. it can be yours. its not working. you dont feel comfortable sexually with her-that is obvious. you dont like kissing her for a start. i think you need to be a heartless prick really to do the no strings thing-its the only men it sems to really work for coz hey are dogs. your prob emotional and should be sleeping with someone you feel a connection to.
this whole fwb thing is a waste of time. why are you not out looking for a real relationship with someone you care about in a romantic way?
anyway about your ED. that doesnt sound psychological-i think you should see a doctor