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well dude you are not dying today or tomorrow and its all part of the process, try to relax a little...keep posting here we are always willing to listen and respond, treat yourself to something that you would really enjoy, grab some friends for support. Its hard for you becasue you really loved her and she obviously did not deserve your love.
There is no ammount of time that it takes to get over someone it can feel like a life time. I hope you feel better soon.
Try to roll with it. Just let it all wash over you and recede. Be like a stone in the surf for a little while. The waves come. They go. They come again. They go again. Don't try to swim in them, or out of them. Just watch them come and go.
Before I go on... Has she given you any indication that she is interested in getting back with you?
If not... Take her number out of your phone.
She broke the no contact. Which could mean a few things.
1) She is completely over you and wants to be friends.
2) She is not over you, and want to be back together.
3) She is deliberatly being mean to you.
4) She sent her new number to everyone in her phonebook and didn't realise you were one of themm.
I would do this. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you. If the answer is no, tell her never to contact you again. You obviously cant just be friends with this girl.
Mick
I was very drunk when i wrote posted that last msg .... managed to stop myself from calling her.
It just seems to me that we had some unspoken bond but i know that she doesnt think that.
Im actually feelin ok this morning, but i do still love her i think. I think just trying to forget abuot her is all i can do now.
Debating whether to take the number out of my phone....but im scared il regret it at a later date.
You could do what i did: write her number down somewhere, along with some kind of note telling yourself to never use it unless you're absolutely sure it's safe to do so (as in you're over her and want to be friends, which is probably not gonna happen anytime soon).
Then put it somewhere safe and delete it from your phone and everywhere else, so the number is only in this one place. Then at least you can't call her while you're out getting drunk.
This is what I've done with all my ex's contact details like home/mobile number, msn etc. so far it has kept me from doing some stupid things cos I have to really think about it before trying to contact her.
Or you could just delete them for ever.. I was too scared to do that though :P
bad, bad, badQuote:
Originally Posted by jay12
I used to think this way all the time. In your head, you probably thinking that if you had the chance you could've saved the relationship? Ah man, this brings me back.
This kind of thinking can only make things worse. The first step to moving on is to accept the fact that it is over, because in reality, regardless of what you may or may not have done, it would've ended. Things happen for a reason man. Keep your chin up, and try to stop holding her ,and that relationship, on a pedastal. Coming back down to reality is frigging hard to do, i know.
Yeah man, i remember when i was on the fence about taking my ex's number out of the phone. It was hard for me to accept that it was over. The fact is, that its just that, over. You wont regret it, as time goes by things will start to make sense again.Quote:
Originally Posted by jay12
i like this. i think you're the only other person who refers to it in a similar way, using water.Quote:
Originally Posted by whaywardj
Thanks. Not much else a body can do, though, so it's no great mystery. lol. What about water? You mean besides you?
jay12----I can empathise with your situation. Moving on is a slow arduous journey where you'll be reminded ever so often, round every corner, of your ex. I'de say leave the number in your phone for the time being.
There will come a day, when you'll see the number and you'll press 'delete' without giving it a second thought.
I'm thinking that all the time, it's like "What if I had done this and that .. " like it's all your fault.Quote:
Originally Posted by inkeepingsecret
Sometimes, I just sit there imagining what could have happened if I ... . And then you can't help but feel even worse.
This really was a big set back, but set backs like these i am finding are getting quicker and quicker to get over.
Iv taken the number off my phone and written it down at work - only 9-5 access, should avoid any drunken calls.
I agree, thats when it really starts to hurt - when you start thinkin of all the times when you wish you had done something different. Its almost like fantacising about being back in time and it sort of makes u feel better for a split second before you come crashin back to reality.
Im ok at the moment, i just cant make myself believe that i will ever find someone that i will feel the same about.
I know how you feel man.Quote:
Originally Posted by jay12
Just keep thinking about the past and that you think you could have done something different, that and thinking about how good it used to be. Then you realize it's all gone and it's hard. I've only been this way a week and I'm still working on getting back up to 'par' so to speak.
The hardest part for me is trying to remember what things were like without her, and I just can't seem to do it.
Unfortunately for me, I can't just remove her numbers from things because that won't help, even though I did it. I have her number memorized.
I wish you good luck and I hope that anyone that goes through this can get over it and move on with their lives, myself included.