Im in my early 40's. Most of my friends 20 years ago smoked a lot of weed. I did not smoke it but did not mind that they did. I got a real job with responsibility and got married and started a family. I lost complete contact with most of them. Last year one of their parents died and I went to the funeral. No kidding, those from the group that moved on and were not smoking weed all had successful and stable employment. The friends that were still smoking were all working low paying unskilled labor jobs that did not piss test and many were living with their parents. If you did not like my comment earlier, too bad its just the reality. If you really want to encourage a secure and stable relationship with any sort of desirable future then quit smoking the weed. For those who toke from time to time and have found ways to still have a successful and productive life, congratulations. But the reality is you are the exception and not the rule. Its not actually the weed that is the problem, its the lifestyle that goes with it that so many people fall into.
I drink beer. I drink beer because I know exactly what each beer will do to me. The problem with weed is it has less consistency. One joint today could have very different results than one joint tomorrow. Legalize and regulate its quality and tax it like alcohol and maybe I would feel differently but as long as "stoner bob" keeps trying to make his shit better and stronger there is always a chance of somebody getting hurt from a bad buzz. Im sure there are plenty who would argue with me and that's fine. I'm not your enemy, Im just a guy who has seen first hand how quickly the stoner lifestyle can stifle a person from leading a successful and productive life.
And finally, to the OP. Duuuuude, dont be so defensive about the weed. Your woman is getting stoned with another dude. The weed is probably just part of the foreplay anyway.