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My suggestion is that you call her (no texting) when you want to set up another date. Give her something to look forward to. Texting is superficial and won't help you to get her to bond to you like she did when you were first together and before you took her for granted.Quote:
Originally Posted by fernando [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Well, that was a really important step. Trust me, as a woman, it makes us nuts if we feel we've told you what's wrong, and you still ignore it. So, great job there.
One thing you can do that would speak VOLUMES about your commitment to change, is to start seeing a therapist (and tell your wife, of course). Tell her that you realize you have some flaws, and you know you need help in sorting them out. Believe me - she will be over the moon at this, because it is SO damn hard to get a man to any kind of a doctor - let alone a shrink. Bonus: it actually really WILL help you. ;)
Anyhow, you've said this is what caused the separation:
Took her for granted, never listened to her and put friends before her and my children
So, you know what you need to do. I wouldn't back off the contact, because that dismissiveness is what caused the rift. Continue to co-parent, take a sincere interest in her day - don't just call to ask how the kids are, call to ask how she's feeling and doing. Ask her on another date, plan something special as a family, ask how you can help with the kids...take them one day and send your wife to a spa for the afternoon...
Ninny? LMAO. What are you, 11? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Saying she needs more time was about getting back together - not in reference to him bringing it up. If you've ever been in a relationship and tried to reconcile, you'd understand this. You clearly don't know what it's like when a man tries to fight for you. I hope one day you find out. :)
lmao. I've been in a 35 year relationship and believe me... in a span like that, you get to a point where one or the other takes the other for granted. Have you read Indie's sticky on the stages of marriage, longterm? Have you read any of what I've advised about getting that passion for one another back on track?
When you've been through something serious as three decades and managed to keep the connection strong, I can see two sides of most anything by now.
He put pressure on her... by just talking about the relationship. That IMO should have waited (as I told him earlier) until she is showing him that she's trusting him NOT to revert back to his old ways.
I'll add its not a huge deal what he did but if he had not brought it up at all, there would be zero pressure on her to reciprocate what he is so obviously longing for. If she's not there yet, then the more he tells and the more he pushes her, the harder she is likely to push back... at this point. I think it's best he show her in actions right now, actions are where his truth lay.