Originally Posted by
TablesandChairs
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You need to do some work on yourself. I think you're a kind person but why are you over-compensating so much? It's not your responsibility to offer payment for her kids' private schools etc. - these are huge statements to make after only having an 'affair' with someone and not an actual relationship. It reeks of desperation and insecurity - it's like 'be with me, look at all I can give you'. With that attitude, you'll suffer a life-time of broken hearts. This woman was unavailable from the start and used you because you're kind and giving. But when push comes to shove, she shoved you.
Get real with yourself. Slow down. Look at the situation. If a person is already in a relationship - you either back away or give them a choice. Either way, you shouldn't have to offer someone money and a house and so forth just so they choose you - they should choose you for you primarily, not for what you provide. It's not your responsibility to be concerned about her children's education and whatever - that might come in time, but so early on? You need to get real with yourself. Why are you putting yourself out there to that extent? Do you think the only way you can get a woman is to give her every financial motivation to be with you?
You say she's nice and kind but she took advantage of you, whether you see it in that way or not. When it came to boiling point, she chose to lie (say you were just friends) and to drop you like a used rag the moment her boyfriend caught wind of infidelity. Where I'm from, single mothers have a hard enough time getting any partner, let alone one that wants to take on fatherly responsibility towards kids that aren't his.