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No families can sometimes be more trouble than there worth. Maybe it would be a good idea to approach his mum and speak up. Make it clear that you love her son and you want a future with him but you fear the family will never accept you. Ask her have you done something to upset annoying coz you feel unwelcome. Wait and see what she says. Then say youd like to get to know her better and suggest that you two go for coffee.. :) i know scary and daunting but at least you tried before considering walking away from this great man that you love so much..
If you dont want to do that tgen tell your bf you want to call to his parents house for coffee at least once a week. You want to bond with them and tell him this is not up for debate. Your doing it :)
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I think that people not speaking with you at events is very rude. I would be wanting to address this further. I think that Michelle's idea of getting to know his mother better is a good one.
There are a couple of other things you've mentioned which you may have to reconsider.
First is the distance thing: my hubby has family and friends who live an hour away and we rarely see them despite having all grown up together. They tend to organise events with others who are close to them. They'd see each other few times a month and we see them about once or twice a year if we're lucky. My sister and parents are 40mins away and live near each other....they see each other all the time - but see us much less. It's not about us, it's just the logistics. If you (or I) want to be more closely involved, moving closer to the friends and family is the best option.
The other thing is wanting your kids to grow up surrounded by cousins. While it would be nice to have, this isn't something you can plan for. What if you fall in love with a man who's an only child? Or a man who's siblings don't live near? Or a man who's sibling ends up infertile? Or even if he does have lots of family around, you may find people move away. Having cousins for your kids truly is out of your control - even if you keep working on the other issues, I strongly suggest you let this particular issue go.
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OP, my ex fiancee and I were together 7 years and his mum would call, I'd pick up and she'd ask to speak to her son. No 'Hey how are you' to me. I just laughed and handed him the phone, asking when he would pay me for my secretarial duties. Unfortunately, sometimes...that's what you get. It sucks for you because you don't have a family of your own and the nice thing for them to do is make you feel included...but many people don't have the ability or desire to extend themselves.
Ask your partner if they dislike you or whether there's an issue you're not aware of. Perhaps he could talk to them, let them know you feel a bit ignored/pushed aside.
If all else fails - so be it. You have a good relationship and that's what matters. Many people aren't close to their in-laws or extended families and sometimes, the more you try, the more disappointing it gets. Don't let this change you - you be you, regardless of their response/non response. It's their loss. And happy marriages don't rely on other peoples' congratulations or input...it'd be nice, but not necessary.
