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Chemistry to me is connectedness. If someone gets me and I them. A familiarity that transcends the the short time we've spent together. Physically, they don't have to be amazing on a social scale, but a personal one.
Contrary to earlier posts... I think chemistry is much more psychological than biological.
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I think it's a combination of both. I believe compatibility, sharing the same passions, interests, styles, food etc is what being connected is all about. Everyone is different but they have to be on my intellectual level as well. I could never be interested in someone that is too shy or too out going.
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Well you are probably searching for emotional, spiritual, mental intimacy. We get caught up in the sexual things, but that is not love and it is physical attraction and chemistry. We mistake lust for love, and it is not the same thing. Compatibility you will be attracted to each other for intellectual conversations and sharing and expressing verbally. While sex is 10% of the relationship it is the 90% of intimacy that will glue your relationship together. It is establishing a foundation of friendship and companionship and the sex part adds to the relationship and doesn't take away from it.