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The love addict:
1.Is attracted to a person who is walled in and appears powerful.
2.Creates a fantasy about the other person as the relationship begins. The fantasy leads to feelings of euphoria for the love addict, who then becomes obsessed with the partner.
3.Uses denial to protect the fantasy. This allows the love addict to ignore the avoidant's walls and the distance in the relationship.
4.Some event occurs that bursts the denial and results in the love addict going into emotional withdrawal from the fantasy.
5.Uses strategies to either return to the fantasy, medicates the emotional distress and/or becomes obsessed with revenge.
6.Returns to the fantasy or finds a replacement partner and creates a new fantasy.
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What is Love Avoidance?
Love avoidance is the systematic putting up of walls in a relationship to prevent feeling emotionally overwhelmed by another person. Consequently, it prevents true intimacy. It can be described as a form of emotional anorexia. The love avoidant perceives love as being an obligation or duty, so relationships are experienced as an emotional drain. The love avoidant tends to become involved with love addicts, and puts up walls to decrease the intensity within the relationship. However, the more the avoidant distances, the more the love addict pursues. The avoidant often responds by a pattern of deprivation within the primary relationship, while acting in ways that create intensity outside of that relationship (e.g., work, pursuing other relationships or sexual encounters, addictions, etc.). At the more extreme range of love avoidance, the love avoidant may also be intimacy anorexic.
I don't know. I'm thinking that you if deep down thought this was right, you'd just carry on without asking us what we think. Is your gut trying to tell you something, Maple?