Look up the TIME article by Andrea Sachs called "Why we have Affairs - And why not to tell"
And if you don't.. the line you should get out of it is:
Honesty is great, but it's an abstract moral principle.... The higher moral principle, I believe, is not hurting people. And when you confess to having an affair, you are hurting someone more than you can ever imagine.
If you tell her, you're just making yourself feel a little less guilty because "Oh look, at least I was honest." at the expense of her immense pain. Do the right thing and live up to the consequences.
As a woman, if my man cheated on me but it meant nothing to him - I'd rather not know. If it meant something to him, well Id hope he'd get out of my life. So work out whether you love this woman, and go from there.
