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Well, I've read the divorce courts in Japan can be very bias towards foreigners (just what I've been reading on the net) The vast majority of the time, the kid stays with the woman. I was actually reading on the net similar horror stories with western-japanese couples And it's startles me!!, the similarities, and very same scenarios (ie thinking she owns the man's money, expecting the guy to be a millionare, shutting down sex with him (and also kissing/hugging/affection) after the child is born, deceptive first impressions, etc etc), This is the first interracial relationship I actually been in, so I really wasn't prepared for any cultural differences - but heck maybe there really are some great western/japanese couples out there... I'm just another unlucky one.
I'm guessing we will have to negociate, how many times a year, for how long etc) It makes me a bit sad, because I wanna see him grow, play with toys etc....
I wouldn't be at all if she tries to find another guy here on her visits-
in Australia , any foreign marriage is still recognized here, and they've now brought in this stupid law where a couple need to be seperated for 12 months before one can file for divorce (been seperated for 5 months now) So I'm gonna have to wait another half a year, =S she won't sign it.
Oh yes she's a complete nut... the scary thing is.. how 2 faced she was, she was really good at acting all polite, well mannered around my family, then being a total psychopath when she was alone with me =S I'd wake up on my couch to find knives stuck in my pillow into a bit of paper with my name on it, telling me she wants to kill me, and to "go die" on a constant basis, smashing up furniture, slapping me in the head, locking me out of my own house so I have to climb in through the window, laughing at my arthritis, telling me she hates my fashion, saying "maybe this baby is your friends" or "do you think your special?" telling me I have no future, etc etc gonna have to rebuild my confidence and wait it out.... thanks for the input people, been a great help.
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Okay, really sorry your going through this. Please, let me say this again as I have before. DOCUMENT these things. Knives in the pillow? Horrible notes? Take pictures, tag and bag the evidence and don't get your fingerprints on them. Evidence. get it. May come in handy one day.
Hey man, if she's that far off the bender, sounds rather toxic for the baby eh? Indeed.
Hey, I hope you get full custody one day sooner rather than later. It's gonna be a long road but this is your son and he is worth the struggle your sure to endure. When he is older, if he can look back and know his Father did all he could do to fight for him, the love will remain strong.
I hope this lady finds some sense and an amicable solution.
Meanwhile, bag and tag any evidence that she's nuts and unstable.
good luck. I think your gonna need it.
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Yes it is normal that you freaked out at first but you should be saying now the best thing to come out of this is your son and because she gave him to you (a gift) you will always be thankful of that and will love and protect this child forever. No ifs or buts about it. You are too irrational, emotional and angry right now which will lead to bad parenting and you need to calm the f**k down. No custody battles or BS. Your adults. come to an arrangement between you that is in the best interest of your son. If you get courts or social services involved you lose control
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You two are as immature as each other (burning documents??). If there was an adult in this situation he/she would realize that there is only one important topic here:
[url=http://www.babycenter.com/baby-brain-development]Your Child's Brain | BabyCenter[/url]
The rest is uncalled for emotional noise.
Don't fight with her! If she wants to go out and sleep with other men, who cares? Too bad for them, lucky for you if they catch her. Support her getting her citizenship if she wants it. That means your kid grows up near you. The fighting is pointless and nobody wins. It's irritating and seems unfair, surely. But life isn't fair and you made this choice, did you not? Now its your responsibilty to deal with it as maturely as possible for the sake of your poor son.
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Similar thing happened with a guy I know and his Thai wife; she married him and once the cash ran out (he spent it all on luxury items for her, holidays for her and what not) she resumed to acting single and trying to nab the next cash cow. There was no love there, never had been...not sure how he didn't see through it...everyone else did, especially when we found out he'd spent 20k (the entire inheritance he received from his grandmothers death) on her shopping sprees...meanwhile this guy didn't even have a pair of shoes that weren't 10 years old.
It happens, best thing to do is move on and make sure your child is okay.