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Dude.
What
the
****.
Seriously - I would be extremely pissed off if I were you. It's complete bullshit that for the last 4 months you've been there for her and waiting for the whole 6 month break to get back together, then 2 months left she goes and pulls this?
I would throw all this in her face, say look what I did for you and you gonna do me like this??? **** that and **** you. Leave it at that. You've wasted too much time as is, don't waste anymore while she plays games with you while she's moving. I would seriously go off on her, and then just say "This ends here and now. It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. Good luck with your move and good luck with your life."
Leave and don't answer her calls. At least not for a few days/weeks. If she doesn't call after that you know for sure it wasn't meant to be.
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I know Tone, but I just can't do that. My heart won't let me hurt her. I could never bring myself to burn bridges like that. I will always love her. I hope we can continue to talk, even when she's gone away. I truely believe she's the one for me, and although I won't wait around for her, I'd welcome the chance to try again.
"And call me a fool
Cuz im a fool
With no where else to be
And nothing left to do
Call me a fool
Cuz i m a fool"
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I can understand what you're saying, although I say this and that - I know if I were in your situation I probably wouldn't do that either, I always let my heart get the best of me.
It is still pretty shitty, and I think if you just lay down she's gonna keep walking all over you. You don't have to hurt her, but damn man - you gotta have some self-respect. This chick told you wait 6 months for me. You did. Now she's moving away from you and DOES NOT want you to come with. I mean wtf!!! If you don't make a stand for yourself... I dunno I just see you going through more months of bullshit from her...
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Thanks Tone for the comments. I'll try to keep your thoughts in mind tomorrow when we talk. I just know standing up for myself isn't going to get me anywhere I want to be. It won't make me feel any better and it won't change things. My first love continues to be a wonderful friend of mine and I hope for the same in this relationship. I assure you, however, that within the next week or two I'll be starting to 'train' for the dating world. I'd like to have a date for my birthday Oct 2, but we'll see, that might be pushing it.
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Is there a thread with the background to this post? I fell I'm missing something here...
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[url=http://www.loveforum.net/t8343-love-problems-never-yea-right-(long).html]http://www.loveforum.net/t8343-love-problems-never-yea-right-(long).html[/url]
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Thanks, holy shit that's long......maybe I'll just forget about this thread.
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Long story short:
Dated this girl for 4+ years through college and post-college. We lived together the whole time and moved into a house last Dec when she graduated. She didn't really want to move into this house but it was something I was passionate about. Four months later she moved out citing the house as the reason. When I offered to leave the house, she wouldnt take me up on it, but instead requested 6-months to battle inner demons. Two months went by, I tried to leave as the suffering was too much for me. We saw eachother weekly. She said I was giving up too easy so I stuck around as I at least had more hope. It's been two months since then. We've probably spent more time together (2-3 times a week sometimes). She decided she wanted to go to Grad School but would have to leave the state. I tried to research other options for her and realized she probably didnt have the GPA to get into grad school. Now she's moving back home citing 'friends and family' For most of the past 4-months she's treated me as a mid-level friend at best. I've explained how I would change our relationship and make it 10X better. I've told her my plans to find more friends here and to drive her home at least one weekend a month. None of that matters I guess.
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Hi Tavs
"Her coping mechanism while making this tough decision is to totally shut me out." By Tavs
Coming back to my earlier suggestion. Her coping mechanism is to shut you out at this stage so there is nothing you can do or say to change that. You need to give her time and lots of space without YOU in the pciture (I think 2 months is going to be enough). That time will either make her or break her. Fixed lease agreemnts can be broken if she feels strongly about her mistake (It happened in the past).
"She'd never make any promises to me right now" By Tavs
I think it's very crucial to both you and her that she makes this promise. I mean, what have you been waiting for these past 4 months??? Tell it to her this way, this promise is the keeper of your relationship. If she makes no promise of being faithful to you then it is all over and make sure she understands that right there and then. Her not being faithful to you means you walk out from that conversation with her today and from this day onwards you move on and completely forget about her. Because its really going to kill you being in a relationship like this. If she DOES make that promise then give her time and revisit this in 2 months (You will still need to move on just to be able to pursue your life from this stage). It's hard i know, and it's very hard to give advices like this, but the way i see it these are you real options. You said it yourself there is not chance of you moving with her.
Hope above helps and best of luck!!! :)
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I dont think you get the nature of my post. At this point, she has no interest in a relationship with me. That being said, there's no reason for her to promise me anything. Besides, I dont think I can wait around any longer for someone who isn't showing any signs of interest. Yesterday, I was considering going with her but that all ended when she resended the offer. I appreciate your comments, and if things were slightly different, I'd be all over it but in her mindset she's done with me. I have very little doubt she will miss me once she's gone. She'll realize I was important to her. Hell she might even realize that now but just refuses to admit it. Hell it was just two weeks ago she said I was the only thing keeping her here. But even so, that doesn't mean she's coming back....even when she misses me. I can't waste any more time living a dream. But in the end, we'll see what happens tomorrow. Although I'm already in the process of moving on, I'd do just about anything to keep hope alive. I just can't go on living every day desperately trying to figure her out.
Don't get me wrong, there are definately some good nugets in your post I can relate to.
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TAVS----All that effort and to naught? Misombra had a very apt description of what you're going through - "You're being dragged through the cactus".
Drop this girl. Not worth it. You'll only hurt more when she changes her mind again.
