Good partner shitty lover.

Been reading other peoples' post and lot of sense in them however we can talk and show how much we know about relationships at the end of the day the person with the problem knows it better than anyone one of us. With that being said I think out of all that have been said Kilo cake must be able to make up his mind using all the diverse information from useful co-members of the forum.

One thing I would like to say is that It is easy to walk away but hard to make something work, I do not consider asking your partner to join you in outdoors activities needy or pointless, It is better to try all you can if ones heart still desires to make means of bringing healthy change in a relationship. At the same time if the partner does not show any interest in anything suggested I would easily believe she does not care. Relationships is about many things one of them is to compromise at times.

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Originally Posted by Khocie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Been reading other peoples' post and lot of sense in them however we can talk and show how much we know about relationships at the end of the day the person with the problem knows it better than anyone one of us.

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That goes without saying.

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With that being said I think out of all that have been said Kilo cake must be able to make up his mind using all the diverse information from useful co-members of the forum.

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That is the only solution what other one is there?

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One thing I would like to say is that It is easy to walk away

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NO it is not.

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but hard to make something work,

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You've got it completely backwards. It is important to consistently work TOGETHER as a team to keep things happy and humming along nicely and to keep things happy but it is dysfunctional work to try with someone who does not want to try too.

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I do not consider asking your partner to join you in outdoors activities needy or pointless, It is better to try all you can if ones heart still desires to make means of bringing healthy change in a relationship.

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I don't think it is pointless either but don't you think since he wants an active partner that he would have ALREADY ASKED HER TO join him? I'm sure he has done that already as a first attempt at trying to make things more happy for himself. If he hasn't, well then he's a idiot.

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At the same time if the partner does not show any interest in anything suggested I would easily believe she does not care. Relationships is about many things one of them is to compromise at times.

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Totally agree.

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Originally Posted by Khocie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

One thing I would like to say is that It is easy to walk away but hard to make something work...

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I totally disagree!

It is easier to settle in a bad or non workable relationship than to walk away. Why? Because people are often afraid of change and don't want to venture into something unfamiliar. They get too comfortable even in a shitty relationship.

You are right [MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION]. These are two different things. But I just think we shouldn't all give the same advice. Some will tell to breakup but some should say to stay together. Just for variety of advice. I dont see this relationship enough bad to breakup. Its really not that much of disaster. OP respects and values highly his GF. In his place I would keep it going. In fact I have something similar going on over internet.

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Originally Posted by dontaskme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I totally disagree!

It is easier to settle in a bad or non workable relationship than to walk away. Why? Because people are often afraid of change and don't want to venture into something unfamiliar. They get too comfortable even in a shitty relationship.

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This^^^

Codependent people have a very, very hard time "walking away." They have low self-esteem and do not have the courage to walk away when they are clearly in a relationship that will make them miserable on a day to day basis. They do like to complain to someone on a day to day basis (as we've all read about) but they sit there in their misery and keep trying and trying to get someone to get their particular "asshole" to be who they want them to be.

Pfffft.

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are right [MENTION=52694]Wakeup[/MENTION]. But I just think we shouldn't all give the same advice. Some will tell to breakup but some should say to stay together. Just for variety of advice. I dont see this relationship enough bad to breakup. Its really not that much of disaster.

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pcmaster I must ask you: Would you settle in a relationship where your partner did not like sex. Where the only time she did give you sex she made you feel cheap about it because you knew she was only doing to appease you and wasn't enjoying it? Someone who had NONE of your interests ether?

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OP respects and values highly his GF. In his place I would keep it going.

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Yea... he values his mother too and she wouldn't want to fvck him either (I'd hope)

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In fact I have something similar going on over internet.

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Check yourself, dude. You're walking a slippery slope of desperation.

Well to each their own. I'm for example feel much better in my non perfect relationship than being alone. There is no such thing as "perfect" you just have to find something that you are okay with.

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Originally Posted by pcmaster [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well to each their own. I'm for example feel much better in my non perfect relationship than being alone.

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That reeks of desperation.

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There is no such thing as "perfect" you just have to find something that you are okay with.

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No relationship is "perfect" you're right there. Sadly you're forgetting that You also have to find something you are compatible with or it is never going to keep being being "okay" with it. Once the honeymoon stage is over you'll start to be NOT okay with it... as the Op clearly is now.

I appreciate all of your posts and thoughts. I guess thingss that I stated that I value are like, what I feel like I should value. If I stayed with her, we'd eventually have a family and junk and it would be a good union. Like the sort that aristocracy would arrange in past ages. That sounds crazy but it's something. It's stable. She's such a high quality person and I've invested so much time into it that it's really hard to imagine breaking up. Are you really sure I should? I feel like I want to ina lot of ways but it also sounds really scary. I've left girls before. I don't know, I feel ike she loves me but it isn't enough. I hate this.

Least not forget her earning potential ;)

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Originally Posted by Kilocake [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I appreciate all of your posts and thoughts. I guess thingss that I stated that I value are like, what I feel like I should value. If I stayed with her, we'd eventually have a family and junk and it would be a good union. Like the sort that aristocracy would arrange in past ages. That sounds crazy but it's something. It's stable. She's such a high quality person and I've invested so much time into it that it's really hard to imagine breaking up. Are you really sure I should? I feel like I want to ina lot of ways but it also sounds really scary. I've left girls before. I don't know, I feel ike she loves me but it isn't enough. I hate this.

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You'd do well with some therapy to help you figure yourself out. You're very insecure in the fact that you're afraid to leave even when you're not happy with a very fundamental and important part of a relationship for YOU. It's people like yourself that stay in unsatisfactory relationships and often go on to either emotionally or physically cheat on their partner (even when they've said they are not like that and would never do anything like that. That soon changes when they incidently meet someone who makes them feel good and they spend too much disrespectful and inappropriate time with that person.


Why don't you ask her to go to her doctor to find out if her hormones are low or something or to a psychologist of her own so that she can MAYBE get some kind of joy out of sex and the motivation to get off her ass and do SOMETHING with you... which would help you to stay with her out of want and not desperation and neediness.

Seems you're having a hard time leaving the security and comfort of a mother-like love.

Seems like you don't really want a love life that satisfies you ,with everyone here working their minds off trying to help you ,leave aside the gigantic prattle this post has turned to with everyone's opinions just to help "you".
If you want to keep living in that sorry mess ,then please do and don't waste up people's time and effort.
In case you do actually value yourself and want to live a fulfilled love life like every ****ing regular human being ,take a look at the above posts😉

Wakeup said it best. It's one thing to "lack skills" in the bedroom but to not care when (I sure hope) you have had a conversation with her about your needs.

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