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I'd love to hear the other point of view on some of these... notice how EVERY breakup the guy says "She's going to regret it someday! I treated her like a queen"
I'm not tryin to say you did or did not - just sayin I'd love to hear other side of the story ;P
Yup, some my ex's could say the same about me....but I just knew it was wrong so I ended it...... Nothing wrong with realizing things aren't gonna work. They either do or they don't.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tone
Well, I felt I treated her the best I could. Not one lie, no secrets and I was sincere. Obviously I can't scienticially prove I treated her the best she will ever be treated but It's the way I feel.
You probably did treat her the best you could possibly......Quote:
Originally Posted by dprelz
But maybe she just still didn't feel things were right. Its gotta work both ways....and the feelings have to be mutual. Otherwise.....its not gonna work. Just don't give up on treating women the best you can......eventually your gonna find one thats gonna appreciate those qualities about you....and she will be a keeper.
see , thats what im worried about . what if that ""one day , someone special will be there "" never comes around . Thats like my bro , hes 30 and he doesnt even have a steady GF (he had one for 7 years , and she split , leaving him with an appartment and some dumb excuses ), now the poor dude sleeps with different girls every week (wich can also be good , if thats what your looking for ) but there a time and place for each thing and i dont want to be 30 and not even have a fiance or at least a steady GF .Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellynn
his situation made me realize that i wanted a wife and to start looking sooner than the average person(im guessing around 20 instead of 24). it made me realize that i dint want to be one of those guys that just ****s around and never does anything usefull in his life . this was years before my first serious GF . and now she's gone (i actually meant it when i said i wanted to marry her , she dint apparently ... thats what she told me after we broke up )
point being , i dont want to date a bunch of useless girls where our relationship wont get anywhere . I look at some ppl and i dont want to be old and lonely . I dindt even care if i only had sex with one girl my whole life , now thats a bit different , i want to finish college and if i dont find someone there thats good for me ill just **** my way through college .after that ill seriously try to get a wife(unless i find one before that)
she what psychology and fear can do to someone , and me that thought i would beat the number of girls that my bro screwed (its higher than 40 guaranteed)
Late_vamp that is EXACTLY how I think to man. My cousin is the same way, he's 29 and in my opinion completely lost and doesnt' have a steady GF, etc. That's what I didn't want to. I was serious about marrying her as well and moving out, etc. When I was with her I was kind of worried that I wouldn't know what its like to do a lot of chicks but now that she is gone I now realize just how stupid that thinking is.
Isn't that a *****? I feel ya man.Quote:
Originally Posted by dprelz
Hey there,
I was in your situation a few months ago really. I personally would continue you as you are, just don't waste your time on her and leave her to her own devices and learn that she made a mistake. If you are as loyal and as loving as you made out in your post, then she will definitely look back when she has grown up and wish that she didnt throw that relationship away.
If you want to tell her to get lost, then I think you should just speak to her and just tell her that you are not to blame, lay down the facts and state how this isnt all your fault. I always believe that if you're going to tell someone to get lost, you might aswell tell them how stupid they have been too. I recently did this with my ex. She was the clubbing type, and I hate them, and she thought cheating was alright for her to do but didnt want me having female friends, anyway SHE dumped me and went back to her ex. Only just recently did I tell her that it was mainly her fault and that I thought she was selfish. I will never speak to her again.
Good luck mate. I really hope you sort things out, but I think you're doing quite well. Afterall, you have done everything you could, and she just left. It will be her loss in the long run.
Thanks for your reply.
I recently just told her.. look, I didn't appreciate how you left, and how fast you left and how deceitful you were after you left. She didn't tell me she had a new boyfriend whilr I was still trying to get her back. She would lie and say she lost her phone or say something to that affect for the weekends. She would only phone me when she was bored or when it was convienent for her. The hardest part was thinking the girl I trusted with my life actually treats me like this. My brain would accept it as true, but my heart would just wouldn't admit it. Trying to leave me as a backup is just something I would personally never do. It's unfortunate that everybody in the world isn't as loyal and honest as me, but I guess that is life.
It's extremelly difficult to let go of someone I loved so much and would of done anything for. But It helps that people here are going through or have gone through the same feelings. I will be fine.
Yeah, you sound so much like me. I treat a g/f like a queen, and still end up going through the worst kinds of break ups and feeling bad.
Funny you should mention your ex saying she lost her phone...etc mine did that, and kept saying she was single, until about almost 2 months after our break up when she confessed to having gone straight back to her ex after leaving me. Quite weird isn't it? I don't know why people just can't tell the truth straight out and be honest about things!
Don't worry, as time goes by you will learn to accept what has happened. The less contact you have with her, the better. You can and will move on from her. Don't pressure yourself though, take your time to heal.
Try hooking up with her again. Let things get hot and heavy in the bedroom, and then when she's not looking, drop a cleveland steamer on her. Then throw her clothes out the window and kick her out of your place.
That'll teach that *****.
dprelz: im exactly like you and feel that im going through exactly the same situation. I treat my girlfriend like a queen...respect everything she does, support her with the things she does.. everything... but for some reason she has issues doing the same back. Very unemotionally attached person. *shrugs*.. and I too took blame for some things that we talked about...which were her fault.... fudge i dunno... I just feel for you dude.. but I think Im going to end up with the same fate. Doesnt matter how nice you are...how polite.. how supportive..how honest.. you still manage to get kicked in the nuts somehow. =|
Where ARE all you guys that treat your woman like a queen? And why aren't you hooking up with girls like me that treat their man like a king? Man, we need to start connecting and leaving the ******* emotionally unavailable population to make each other miserable.
We're out there, so just keep trying and dont settle for anything less. :) But I dont know about Canada, maybe the good guys are all down in the states
Well it is really unfortunate, really. What it comes down to is how she solves problems or how she looks at them. As much as I hate to admit it, she didn't open up to me as much as I thought. I was totally honest, kind and most of all genuine with how I felt. Essentially she just woke up one day and left me and that is one hard pill to swallow. The fact that she didn't communicate her problems or emotions with me really pisses me off. She just chose to give up, assumed that is the person I am and left the second another guy showed any interest in her. It comes down to maturity, age and the right timing. Women aren't as decisive in general as men and don't know what they want..
Speaking of your situation, I look at it this way. You don't hide from your problems, you deal with them. You have to be honest with yourself before you can be honest to another person. So unless you find a girl that is mature enough and emotionally intelligent enough to deal with her emotions YOU are going to be the one getting hurt. You get hurt because your feelings were real and genuine while they (she) I’m assuming live life day-to-day and don't think of the relationship the same way as you. When she left it was UNBELIVABLLY hard to cope, but for her it was a lot easier because she just piggy-backed into another relationship.. That's how she chose to deal with her problem.. leave it alone and hopefully it will just go away. When the day comes where she is alone and looks back at what she did, she will be so regretful and have to live with that her entire life. I know what I want in life, not just for a relationship but in everything.. and she definitely wasn't like that. I’m going to be looking for a lot of different traits in my next girlfriend because of what I know now. :\