Missing Valentine's Day

Nuh uh! You're wrong! (Says the guy who basically agrees with you completely.) LOL!

Well... I just thought we were being a little TOO mature. I mean, this is the Internets. Aren't we supposed to be all disrespectful and intolerant of each other's opinions? LOL!

Honestly, if that is legit how you feel, then I think you rock. It's just, how many people say that..... but then get p*$$ed when their significant other doesn't do anything special on V Day? LOL! So, unfortunately, peeps like that sort of ruined it for everybody.

Though, again, if both people in the relationship agree with that sentiment, then I say that is awesome and more power to you. Skip V Day.... just don't forget to appreciate each other every day, and still find your OWN times to do something special to recognize how special it is to find somebody.

Again, though, I love your opinion in this matter. I couldn't agree more. I think it is ridiculous what this "holiday" has become.

I agree with you that if both people enjoy the holiday, then go for it. I also agree that passive aggressive behavior is stupid. I am very sensitive to people who use passive aggressive tactics and cannot stand it! Dr Seuss said it best when he said, "Say what you mean and mean what you say."

I don't want to talk wrongly about my Boyfriend, because I know he will be upset if I do, let alone mentioning him on a forum so thats all I have to say.

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So what? He still could have arranged to have flowers sent ....something. Did he call you at least wishing you a happy day and I love you?

Two years in a row? His car didn't work? Seriously?

During Valentine's Day weekend for this year, he went out of state to visit a friend, he couldn't call or text me because his friend told him, "She will understand" since he was out on a trip, and his phone's battery was dead, and his friends wouldn't let him use his phone, taking it from him throughout the day.

I'm sorry.... honestly, I do not mean to be causing trouble here.... but I'm honestly perplexed. So, he couldn't be with you for Valentine's Day...... because he was visiting a friend? I didn't bother to pry, but when you said you two couldn't do anything on the day of because he was traveling, I assumed you meant for work or some other reason he HAD to travel. Is there some reason he HAD to visit a friend on VALENTINE'S DAY of all days, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend? There wasn't any other day, out of 365 days in a year (366, in fact, since this is a leap year) that he could have done something with this friend?

Not to mention, either A) this "friend" is an a-hole anyway for not letting him even just give you a quick call or B) your boyfriend is just making up excuses because he either forgot or just flat out didn't bother to call you.

But, I don't know. Maybe that is just me. Doesn't seem to bother you, so maybe it's not that big a deal.

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Originally Posted by TheEvilJester [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm sorry.... honestly, I do not mean to be causing trouble here.... but I'm honestly perplexed. So, he couldn't be with you for Valentine's Day...... because he was visiting a friend? I didn't bother to pry, but when you said you two couldn't do anything on the day of because he was traveling, I assumed you meant for work or some other reason he HAD to travel. Is there some reason he HAD to visit a friend on VALENTINE'S DAY of all days, despite the fact that he has a girlfriend? There wasn't any other day, out of 365 days in a year (366, in fact, since this is a leap year) that he could have done something with this friend?

Not to mention, either A) this "friend" is an a-hole anyway for not letting him even just give you a quick call or B) your boyfriend is just making up excuses because he either forgot or just flat out didn't bother to call you.

But, I don't know. Maybe that is just me. Doesn't seem to bother you, so maybe it's not that big a deal.

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When it comes down to it, it was my fault and my doing. Him and I had gotten into a fight the week prior, and in my anger I told him I was going to break up with him ON Valentine's Day, so since that fight, he was scared to talk, or even hang out with me, because he didn't want to deal with the break up on Valentine's Day.

After our fight I told him I was never going to break up with him on that day, I just said that because I was angry and upset, and we say stupid shit when we are upset. But he still thought I was going to break up with him, so he decided to make his out of state trip, to visit his college male friend, during Valentine's Day weekend.

His college friend paying for his plane ticket, and stay with him during his trip. On Valentine's Day, my Boyfriend and I did text each other Saturday night at midnight and say Happy Valentine's Day, but the official day Sunday Valentine's Day itself, I texted him Happy Valentine's Day AGAIN and never got a response to the text or phone call. WHY? Because he says, his friend's kept taking his phone from him because they didn't like seeing him getting distracted, and they told him that I would understand, if my Boyfriend didn't contact me on Valentine's Day, because he was on his trip, seeing his friends, and I would get it.

By the end of the day around 6-7PM he finally texted me back saying Happy Valentine's Day but when I tried calling him to talk to him, he couldn't talk due to his phone's battery being low and again him hanging with his friends. After Valentine's Day came and went, my Boyfriend never made it up to me, never got me flowers, candy or took a day for us and to be all romantic to one another.

Instead him and I have been doing NOTHING BUT fighting since then. So that's what really happened and it was all my fault.

Okay, I think you need to get one thing straight. Yes, I think you are right, now that you've shared these further details, that you were partially at fault for what happened. Read that again.... PARTIALLY at fault. You should never say something as heated as saying you are going to break up with somebody unless you honestly mean it. So, yeah, hearing that I can sort of understand why he may have been a little apprehensive about Valentine's Day.....

However, that said, two wrongs DO NOT make a right. You are NOT to blame because he was too childish not to avoid just escalating things. Sure, you messed up by saying that, and obviously you see that now. However, he messed up by then making other plans for Valentine's Day, rather than just being an adult and talking to you. So, if you think about it, despite what you said, once you had time to cool down, you still left the option open for you and he to reconcile and still spend a nice Valentine's Day together. ....He took that option away completely by simply deciding he was going to make other plans.

So, yes, you definitely should learn from your mistake.... but you also definitely SHOULD NOT blame yourself completely for what happened. Not to mention, I'm sorry, but his excuses as to why he couldn't talk to you on the day of are bull crap. Either his friend is a complete a-hole and he should have just put his foot down and said he had to talk to you just for a bit, or he's lying to you and he just didn't want to talk to you. Granted, if he is hanging out with a friend, he shouldn't spend the whole day just talking to/texting you, but there's no reason he couldn't have taken 15 minutes away from his friend to talk to you.

And, look, I don't say any of this to add fuel to the fire for the fights you say you two have been having. You really shouldn't bother to turn this into a fight. It honestly isn't worth the strength. Either he realizes what he did was wrong and will endeavor to never repeat the same mistakes again, or he doesn't really deserve your consideration in the first place. Don't waste energy on a relationship that has degenerated into nothing but fighting. Either find a way to communicate as two loving human beings and get to the bottom of the issues, or just cut your losses and end things. If your issues are things that can be fixed, that is great, but that is never going to happen by bickering and arguing. By the same token, if your issues CAN'T be fixed, then no amount of bickering and arguing will change that, so you are better off just ending it rather than continuing to suffer.

Only you and he can really know if your issues can be fixed. I wish you both the best of luck in figuring that out. But, if this relationship remains nothing but hurtful and stressful, please care enough about yourself to realize you deserve better than that.

Yeah him and I are trying to work things out but things keep getting worse and worse.