My god... It's 3 am in the night, and I am in my bed. The mildly cool spring air after a hot day is entering my room. I am lying here under the bed sheets. I miss her so much. I wish she was here next to me in my bed under the same bed sheet, so I could hold her and fall asleep with C in my arms. I need this right now. I can't believe it... She could have been here with me right now... We were working on getting her here to Denmark. If the plan went the way it should, without her betrayal leading our plans to be cancelled, and our relationship to fail, we would have been together at this very exact moment. I keep thinking about it everytime I go to bed. I keep thinking about it in the morning. Waking up... Seeing her face as the first thing, getting eye contact... Saying good morning followed by a kiss. Especially now that the weather is getting warmer, my emotions increase. People spend more time outside, couples go out and enjoy the nice weather. It's unbearable. I can't relax outside during the late hours, because it reminds me of the perfect romantic scenarios I could have shared with C if she was here. I can't put myself into situations where the circumstances relate to something romantic, like seeing the sunset, watching a movie etc. because it all reminds me of the activities people do with their romantic partners. I keep imagining so many scenarios I could have had with her if things went well... How can I deal with this mix of frustration, craving for love and jealousy? It's driving me crazy!
I'm trying to distract myself, and think about non-romantic related activities like video-gaming, youtube videos, jogging and such. And it works, but not entirely...
I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest. No need for anyone to try to come up with some clever advice...