Originally Posted by Tonia2
Thanks again for your advice - how are things for you at the moment?
1) I keep convincing myself that me and ex can have this kind of ½ relationship
2) He went back on the counselling thing and said he was just curious to speak to someone – but that he didn’t believe he was commitment phobic.
3) Basically, between being incredibly intimate and loving (him saying I am ‘flawless’ and that he loves me) he told me that I was obsessed with him and that perhaps we should date other people to get some perspective.
4) he said he didn’t think we should sleep together any longer, as he was afraid of hurting me.
5) He kept saying that he needed to get some distance from me to get clarity.
6) He also said that if we did get back together, that would be it – taking temperatures and starting a family…
7) Every time I was drifting off to sleep he would ask me stuff like how I felt
Anyway – last night spoke to him and it turns out he went to see his ex-wife. I was livid – it has always been a thorny issue, and he deliberately withheld his intention to see her on Saturday.
8) he said he didn’t owe me those kind of explanations at the moment, which really hurt.
9) She has a new baby, and he said she had mellowed so much. I asked if he thought the marriage could have worked with her like she is now, and he said yes, which really hurt, but he also said that if we had a baby, our relationship would probably work… so confusing!! We managed to end on a light-hearted note, and one good thing was that I asked him about his nostalgia with his marriage. He said that he was also besotted with me at the start and really loved me – still does.
10) He has said he wants us to go out with his friends soon – but I imagine he would behave like a ‘friend’ towards me if we did – which I am comfortable with to be honest.
11) Crumbs from the rich man's table? I am going away next Tuesday for a week with 6 people to a farmhouse in France, and I am hoping that this will give me distance and clarity...