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I need to ask him you're so right. I'll no doubt see him tomorrow, I'm not going to call or text him I want to speak to him in person. I'm so confused. I wont lie, I've thought about him all day and I think I am hoping that he really does want to be with me too, but at the same time I don't want to be messed around.
Like I said, if you had of actually taken the advice you were given (which was to wait until the school year ended to ask him out) then you wouldn't be having any of this drama.Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Personally, I think you are reading too much into everything he's currently doing and making his natural concern into more then it actually is out of hope... Perhaps all he is actually doing is making sure that you're not hurting over being rejected because frankly, you may think you're not showing any form of sadness or remorse or disappointment but I can tell just by the fact that you keep posting about this d-bag that you more likely then not are indeed showing some negative reactions to him.
If you are being "confused" by his concern then simply tell him that you're fine and to please stop asking. You create drama in your own head over this.
Well, someone can "care" about you and be empathetic to being rejected. That doesn't mean that he cares in the romantic sense for her.Quote:
Then he dont wants you now he acts like he cares about you.
Thanks Wakeup... I don't have any remorse for my actions - I think you just want to make out I'm some nutcase! If my posts annoy you you don't have to respond. Anyway that said, thank you for your opinion. I am not creating drama in my head but if I am at least I am seeking others opinion so that it doesn't take over. I like him. I can't help that. He liked me and then changed his mind. Yes on the day I was upset... Who wouldn't be, but I got over it and actually I have genuinely been fine. No I haven't been as chatty as before but I was being ultra chatty because i wanted him (fir want of a better expression) he's asked me if I am ok repeatedly and I keep saying yes I'm fine I'm polite (why would I not be) and I get on with my work. I am just being me again. You make out this is all my fault but you fail to see that we are both adults he made a choice to spend time with me. We laughed a lot. And I will tell you this it cant be that bad a thing tutor dating student a few years ago a tutor and student got married here! He was her direct tutor! Anyway I don't want to he marrying anyone but I would like to be with him but I post on here to clear my head get peoples opinions. I wasn't sure how to take his asking how iam all the time. I want to flirt and so on with him but I don't I hold back ... Oh I don't know why I am bothering really I just don't know how to feel. Maybe your right perhaps I am showing signs of hurt that I didn't think I was. Maybe I was wrong but he is an adult as am I. I cant be wholey blamed for anything other than I asked him out... I am an excitable person, if I want something I go and get I, it backfired I suppose. Anyway in waffling onQuote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I agree that you should firmly tell him that you're fine. You can also say something about preferring to now be treated in a professional manner.
Thanks I need to speak to him direct and just get this out in the open saves my head from spinning. He's made his decision I've respected that and tried to just move on. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked him out but I did and I do not regret it why should I... If you don't ask you don't get and I almost got. But yeah I need to talk to him. I think once we get back to that level of tutor and student again perhaps the chatty side of me will emerge again.Quote:
Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Thanks.
I am going to leave it at that now.
Thanks everyone for your advice and opinions.
L
Where do you get the impression that your posts annoy me? If I thought they were even worthy of thought past simply responding, you'd know it for sure because I tend to make that sort of thing quite clear.
You shouldn't regret asking him out and that's not what I was meaning... You should have just waited until the school year was over and then you wouldn't have to have anything else to do with him. This is no different then starting something with a co-worker, it going south and then you have to take longer to get to the stage of indifference to them because you have to be in their company every day... That's all.
I suppose its the problem with a forum, things get misinterpreted. I don't know I kind of felt that you were always having a go or criticising my actions... But I suppose like most things I got it wrong. I hear what your saying and how complicated life can be made to be by doing something like I did at the wrong time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
However I spoke to him this morning. He thought I was pisses off with him, I said I was on the day, I was annoyed with his choice of words. He was really apologetic and so was I and I wont go into detail. But anyway we laughed about it all and he asked me if I wanted to go for a coffee this evening somewhere... I was going to say no but thought why not... We can be friends if nothing more, I like his company. I hope for more tbh but what will be will be.
Well, here's me criticizing you once again then (which I must point out that just because I don't agree with how you've handled this from the beginning, it's only my opinion) and hopfully just something to take your sights off of your tunnel vision. I mentioned that you were likely giving off negative vibes towards him even when you thought you were not... and he confirmed that that is exactly what you were doing.
Now, You have emotional feeling other then friendship for him and you're going to go along as just friends. You can pretty much take it to the bank that this will only confuse you even more since you find his simple concern for your well being as him changing his mind and that it means he wants you the way you want him. In other words, because of your biased view, your hope and your desire for him, you will emotionally shred yourself as you continue on with him in ambiguity.
If he does ever push this to something sexual with you, if he crosses PLATONIC friendship boundaries then you best get clarification as to where he wants to take this because if you don't, you'll be fking with your own head worse now then you appear to be. A simple question like: "where are you taking this?" when/if he crosses friendship norms would be in your best interest so that you don't end up in love with someone who (could very well have a drinking problem as you've sussed out) doesn't want you for a romantic girlfriend but who will take the sex if you're willing to give it... not to mention your heart while not reciprocating.
He's told you he doesn't want what you want so keep that in mind as you be his "friend" and if he tries to cross platonic friendship boundaries. YOU... keep it real and call him on his behaviour so that you are clear what it is he is heading for. In the meantime ~ keep your romantic want out of your friendship.
Good luck.
The reason why not is because you won't be able to move on while he's your friend but you like him more than that. You'll be constantly reminded of how much you like him but that you can't have him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You're setting yourself up for a world of hurt if you don't go back to a basic tutor/student relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Sometimes I wish I'd listen. We went to the pub last night and he put his arm around me. He'd had a few drinks and I'd had a couple of glasses of wine and we kissed and it felt great and not just once either and it wasn't all me he initiated it too. But towards the end of the evening he sat there head in his hands and he was pissed off with me said I was a ****ing danger to have around, he said other stuff too and said I was a prick tease... I feel so low today... He knew how I felt towards him, he initiated the kissing ... I feel so angry he called me that we kissed I didn't take him to bed and then leave him waiting...
Worst of all, just as you said, I have to face him today as he's assigned to our class today. He kissed me too, he didn't resist how does that.make me a prick tease? I was fighting back tears last night and walked out. I think I hate him today. I think he's playing a cruel game with me
As guys get older they get more fcked up. You are being too sensitive and took too seriously what guy said. He was drunk and horny. You would do smarter by avoiding going out with this guy. The problem is hes not making much sense in his actions. Perhaps hes not allowed to sleep with students so better keep off from the guy completely. The problem is you been okay alone but you have became fascinating prick tease. If thats the reality you want then keep going on.
Lmao. Sorry but... There's you not exercising your personal boundaries again. You have no respect for yourself and so you allow people to do this kind of thing to you without learning from it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Tell us, why would you even want something to do with a guy you're almost certain has a drinking problem when you've been fkd around by drunkards in your past. Most people would stay away from someone like that, not kiss them after they've told you that they only want to be friends.
If you're not a 13 year old troll on spring break looking to get attention from the good folks on this board then you're certainly naïve if not outright clueless.
Have you ever thought about getting therapy to help you form personal boundaries and learn to love yourself? Someone your age should know how to tell people that don't want you like you want them that you're not interested in taking the demotion while being stagnated from achieving your end goal which obviously is a loving reciprocated attraction and partnership from a man that is not an alcoholic. Most people who learn lessons from previous relationships would not have anything further to do (not even friendship) with a guy with a drinking problem when they've already been there, done that and suffered the consequences from it.
Take that as me "having a go at you" if you wish but don't forget the truth of it as you read.
I'm going with troll because it seems the edit function is compromised when a troll be a trolling.
Great so I'm a nutcase and a troll. Wish I could tell you that was true but nope I am genuine. Feel like shit but that's my own doing. My best friend came by last night and she's mad with me said I have a self destruct button that pisses her off. I didn't tell her anything and she's mad about that too. She said I'm obssessed and needy :(
I need to sort myself out. Get myself back on track. I wouldn't kiss my girlfriends but he initiated it and I enjoyed it until it all went shit wrong. He wasn't drunk when we first kissed. But anyway not that anyone cares which is fair enough.
Okay, so if you're not a troll then you're just dumb.Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Did you not read the post about not letting him cross PLATONIC relationship boundaries? I suspect your best friend "had a go at you" because you don't listen and you don't learn lessons either.
Actually no I don't think I did read that post I'm having real difficulty logging into and staying logged into the forum... Really frustrating I think I read it after - my days seem muddled at the mo. Yes maybe I am dumb. At least I didn't have sex with the guy that would be worse... I've never done that until I know know them could take months before I allow that. So I'm not totally dumb.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
- - - Updated - - -
Maybe I did read it I don't remember properly