Originally Posted by
InternalBleed
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Thanks.
I've already said multiple times I'm not trying anymore, which means I won't be having sex ever again except maybe with a dildo, so the "stop having sex with them" part won't even be a problem. I'll have my vagina sewn shut before I ever do that again. But that doesn't change what happened.
But just out of curiosity...just about what percentage of men do you honestly think would be willing to wait, except if you happen to be "Ms. Perfect", someone who is just the right amount of beautiful and entertaining and passionate for them? Especially in my age range? And I have considered going for older men, but it seems like most of them don't take people my age seriously. So I'm stuck between these age groups, older and younger, both of which will just result in the same pain.
And in a sea of about 8 billion people, what do you think the chances of me being someone's Ms. Perfect ever were in the first place, even before all of this?
I may as well look for a needle in a haystack.
How old could I be after I'm done wasting vast amounts of time on people, waiting until they bail, and moving on to the next one, who will probably leave soon as well, all that time waiting for "the one"? Will he magically appear when I'm 40? Or when I'm 50 and infertile? This could go on for ages. I'm sick of this game.
I'm so angry because I've wasted any hope I had on them. I cannot trust anyone except family members, and any future involving a family of my own, children, etc. is gone now, wasted on liars and deceivers. That kind of future is gone now. That's a pretty big blow. I don't even know what I'm going to do with my life at this point, since interaction with them has changed it so thoroughly. Trusting men enough not to know that sex must be used a 'bargaining chip' was the biggest mistake I ever made at this point.
By "dating is a process", it sounds like you're saying I'll probably have to sift through hundreds of snakes before I find anything. And by then, maybe I'll have been bitten so many times that I'll already be dead. Even if I don't sleep with them, I can still develop feelings for them. And when they leave, which it seems like most of them eventually will, there will still be pain.
*Sigh* just forget it. This is stupid. None of this is helping anything.
I don't know what these men expected of me. I did not expect very much of them. Maybe a tap-dancing mermaid supermodel will keep them entertained someday, I don't know. And at some point near the beginning of all of this, I kept hearing people say that women are more difficult to keep happy than men...what utter rubbish. What's eating away at me are the lies. EVERYONE lied, except the people here. It was such a waste. I've wasted myself, and my future, on lies.