Originally Posted by
UnderTheMoon
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Ok well then, You are 22 and she is 42.
First off just tell your parents. I feel if you are as close to your parents as you say you are, the relationship between you being good and everything then first off, this wouldn't be a problem, and you wouldn't be here wondering "How do I tell them.." that sort of thing. The fact that you lied to them, already at first hand, shows a little bit of shame on your part to be honest, and that is the truth take it or not. When you love someone, you just don't care. That is something you have yet to really learn though considering your age. The fact that she knows, or maybe she doesn't? I will assume she knows that you lied to them, and is perfectly fine with it is another problem. So your parents, being the people you say they are, of course they will get upset, and not accept it, because they are immediately going to feel like you found it necessary to hide it from them. I have dated an older man, and I didn't even hesitate when my parents asked because they didn't. I told them. They were fine with it and never said a word, things went well and everyone got along. You know why? Because I wasn't afraid because I felt no REASON to be afraid. Of course we are no longer together but that's what happens when you realize how great the gap is, and how much life you still need to experience. This happy thing you have going, seems good, but from what you said, it sounds really rushed and a woman who is ok with that? Well, I just don't know.
TWO, You are moving out there to be with her. You will be around her kids, and I am not sure but lets first hand say they are all old enough to move out but some still live at home? Would you feel bad if they had a problem with you? If they felt like some young gun was coming in to take their mother away to some unrealistic place destined for doom? What if she gets mad at them and they fight? Are you really ready to be the cause of such trouble between a family? Lets say they are under 18 except for the one because that one is older than you, what if they feel like you are moving in on their lives, how do you think their dad is going to feel having some "kid" old enough to play with his kids around? If she has custody at the moment, what if he tries to challenge that? Says shes wild and out of control, you would be proof enough of that because logically, to most people, this sort of relationship doesn't happen. I mean really, it doesn't. Older men, younger girls sure, but I don't see a whole lot of dads with custody of their kids playing that game.
You should have thought of these things because no matter how in love you are with her, you are disrupting someone else's life close to her, and it may not show right away, but it will. Your problem with dating people your own age is like this, you really aren't ready for a relationship with your age group yet, you should just chill out, get your life together and have fun. You've barely been able to drink legally for a year and haven't lived yet, so your comparing the best days of your life to what? Girls your age will fit you in a couple of years, god knows that was my problem, young men acting ignorant, and when your considered an old soul, old fashioned and all, it makes it difficult to date. With time it got better because people got caught up to my page. They will catch up to you too. I just think you are getting ahead of yourself, with something that started as a live long infatuation you have always had for older women.
Three, with everything else I have said, on top of her mental well being considering what you have said, what are you going to do when she gets sick? Hmm? Women in that age range start running downhill when they hit their 50's, I watched my mother go through it and things just weren't the same for her. What about her wanting you to have a family? She could hit menopause in a couple of years and when you want a family, no go, but its ok, because she knows you love her and wouldn't want that or maybe she will break it off because she will gain some sense and realize you need to live a life. Your comparing the best days of your life at 22 to what? Your still wet behind the ears. Hell, you still have the smell of similac on your breath.
When you want to go out and do things with her, she will be too tired because of the natural regression that most people have at her age. It's not right but that's what happens when you get older. You will be near your 30's before you realize you want your own family, but your 22, barely even legal to drink for a year now and I think, just like any other 22 year old kid guy, your thinking with the wrong head in general. You got it good though right? You get to swoop in like prince charming, kids and house with the white little picket fence already there and you had to do nothing for it. Life and love are so much different when you have had to struggle with that person to have children, to build a home, you have to have a foundation. Your just a shingle to patch her roof for goodness sakes. I think, along with everyone else who looks at this, that you are being a typical 22 year old. It will bite you in the end but hey, despite everything I have said, or anyone else has said, it is your life to have, and to ruin, AND to waste. Have fun being step dad to a kid older than you, cause that's what you sound like here, like you met the one and it's all gravy. Maybe the older one will be a daughter that's not only smart and down to earth, but very beautiful and humble about it. What are you going to do if you like her? LOL, probably not, probably a son older than you but that would have been great movie material. Good luck, and please think about it, who at 42 with 3 kids brings a young gun into her life is she isn't off? Haha, have fun.