26 and never had a boyfriend

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

And mish looks nothing at all like Brad Pitt.

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You mean you lied to me last night in bed? :surprised

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Originally Posted by Desinate [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I disagree there though, as sometimes that isn't too bad.. Though it depends how they go about it.

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Well, ofcourse if Angelina Joile approached a regular Joe her direct expression of interest will be a sealed deal (Most times) and will save a lot of time. Someone who is instantly attractable in one sense or the other can play direct, they know their worth and they have nothing to loose. But, for most of us direct interest, especially failure to read signs and social circumstances can be a turn off. You start to wonder why are they being so direct? Are they promiscuous, are they this direct with everyone? Do they have problems finding or keeping a partner? Do they have some yet unknown problems? Are they undesirable on some level? All those thoughts make you feel weary, awkward and uncomfortable. I believe a level of comfort needs to be reached and maintained before interest can subtley be let out.

Hypatia,

Who knows why for certain. If you look like that person you'd said, well then many guys might be intimidated. That Alexis B. is a fierce beauty :)

Also, where do you live? In NYC? If so, then you realize of course that it is 2 men for every woman. So, it would be easy to be overlooked in a big city like NY.

And, you know this kind of thing goes both ways. I mean, some folks have an inkling of what I look like. I'm no male model, but then again, I ain't ugly either. It's usually the quirky good looking woman that takes a chance on me. All the rest say, "You're a super bright, good looking, very nice...friend."

You sound very nice and very well-spoken. Best wishes :)

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Originally Posted by misombra [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

you're silly.

you know i just got done watching a documentary on sleeping and dreaming and they were talking about how people who are unconscious or paralyzed see things and meet people right before it happens in real life. one of the great mysteries of sleep...

here's a link...

[url]http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=3d2_1202860027[/url]

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On that note, I'll now hit the sack....

Lostnotfound:

no, I mean about 20 to 30 guys I have asked out or whatever. So, I suppose that makes 2-3 a year, not a HUGE number but a decent amount I'd guess? I would say that this has been more heavily weighted in the last couple of years.

I do live in a major city (Philly), and work in NYC frequently. And I suppose that I am a bit more masculine than the average female. Or at least that's what that online test told me (:detective I can't say that I'm super-duper trendy or feminine- my usual outfit is either dress pants or slim jeans and a fitted shirt, t-shirt, or sweater. I guess the tops are sort of feminine- a lot are colors like pink or purple, or have a little ruffle or flower or something. Kind of hippie-conservative. I wear just enough makeup to make it look like I'm not wearing any, I have long straight hair that is probably my best feature. I wear dresses when it's nice out.

I'm used to doing things for myself- partly because I always had to growing up, partly since there's no one to do things for me now, and partly because I'm just self-reliant by nature (I was all about Gary Paulsen books as a kid) so maybe that attitude comes out somehow? I do ask guys for help on various things even when I probably could do it myself sometimes. The fact that I have negative upper-arm strength is probably a big help here! But I'm not exactly sure how this might be coming out.

Maybe it's the guys, H. Are you just going for unavailable guys?

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Originally Posted by Hypatia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm used to doing things for myself- partly because I always had to growing up, partly since there's no one to do things for me now, and partly because I'm just self-reliant by nature .

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Perhaps they feel there is nothing they can offer you. Men often like to feel needed.

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Originally Posted by Tiay [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

yeah this is really strange.

I see only a few possible causes..

1. All these guys were either taken or blind.

2. You spent so long getting to know them, that you were in the friend zone by the time you showed interest..

3. some kind of giant flaw in your personality. This is the first thing I thought of, but having read the posts it just seems kind of unlikely. And besides, we know that flaws seldom stop people from having relationships.

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4. You're not really hetero (no offense, just to consider).

5. You are somehow putting off men.

Your SN is an interesting choice. Hypatia was famous for (among other things), rebuffing men. Intelligent, outspoken women can also put off certain kinds of men (not all, of course). Their problem, but yours if its negatively affecting your dating. Sad to say, but you may need to 'hold back' a bit until they get comfortable.

I'd think about that relationship coach as Giga suggests. Or try speed dating, or a different online site (this way, your physical looks, if intimidating, won't get in the way).

Good luck.

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Originally Posted by IndiReloaded [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'd think about that relationship coach as Giga suggests. Or try speed dating, or a different online site (this way, your physical looks, if intimidating, won't get in the way).

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Or post your pic in the gallery so members here can spot any "problems"

Or respond to what you think about suggestions given to your by posters in this thread and reveal if you're going to try them

If she's beautiful, it doesn't sound like looks is the problem.

guys, a lot of these things really don't explain it.

If I was to only go after unavailable men, I could surely still squeeze at least one boyfriend out of that before I was, what, 26? All these things.. not being feminine enough, not being entirely sure that you're hetero, being too forward, intimidating men.. etc.. these are all valid reasons for why someone would feel dissatisfied with their relationships, but I don't think they explain the complete absence of any semblance of a proper relationship!

ugly people date. Damaged people date. Heck. Mentally retarded people date. Being a little to intimidating is not enough of a hurdle to explain this.

Complete bullshit, Tiay?

I think she must've surely had some kind of thing with a guy, at some point. at school. a kiss. something. Not that I'm calling her a liar, just depends on how you interpret it. It's very hard for me to imagine any regular person not having had at least a semi-boyfriend in school at some point. Sure she may not count that as a proper relationship but it'd be something.

I think the dating counsellor is a good idea, because online we're a bit helpless to pin down the cause.

although the author sounds like a damn tomboy, didn't she say she resembles some famous actress?? this world is full of liars.

raverboy

Hi,

I'd agree that I'm probably what one would classify as a tomboy. I do look like that actress Alexis Bledel. Surely the two aren't mutually exclusive?

As far as relationships, I really have not had anything. The closest I have had was with a guy that I had a thing for off and on for a couple of years. We hooked up exactly once (just kissing). Then he stopped talking to me completely. When I asked him what was up he said, I was lonely and knew you wouldn't say no. He was going through a lot of problems at the time (quit his instrument, dropped out of school for a semester, stopped hanging with all his music school friends). We later became friends again though never as close. In retrospect it's good that one didn't work out, as the girl he started dating a month later just gave birth to his kid, something I'm not ready for right now! Anyway, that is the extent of my relationships. I agree that it's pretty ridiculous that this is all I have had, but that's it. That's why I'm trying to get some feedback from some other source, as I've exhausted my local ones.

I don't know how I would post a picture other than what I put in my profile, although I'm pretty sure (based on my experience, friends, etc) that looks aren't the problem. It sounds like the people who are requesting this mostly want this for their own personal, er, enjoyment?

Oh, and I'm definitely sure I'm into guys. And just guys. Frankly I almost wish I was into girls because a few have actually hit on me, as opposed to guys for the most part, but I'm just pretty turned off by the whole thing. Now if a tall, handsome foreign guy were to do the same... (I'm a real sucker for exotic accents)