how would i go about bringing that up? preferably in a calm, respectful way that doesn't make her seem like an object.
how would i go about bringing that up? preferably in a calm, respectful way that doesn't make her seem like an object.
I would also like to mention that besides this 'no sex' issue, our relationship is very very strong. I don't want her to be painted in a negative image, she truly is a great girl and I love her with all my heart.
The 'no sex' thing is painful to me, but I am very much very happy with her and how things are otherwise.
how do i show confidence?
remember i am a virgin.
so we spoke again about this issue and i said that this might be a relationship ending problem if it's not changed soon and she told me she didn't know i felt strongly about it and she will try to make me happier.
and if the calender is correct, which i hope it isn't, she should be getting her period in the next few days.
bummer
Good luck, :/
Have you ever talked to her about this? I think you should discuss it & see what's going on there.. before setting some deadline to end it.
As it stands.. I don't think you should equate you doing nice things for her, with her owing you anything sexual. Don't play that "Nice Guy" bullshit.
Also, about her sleeping with someone else.. doesn't mean she'll sleep with you. An ex of mine tried to pull that. I wasn't a virgin & because I spent the night at his house one night he expected sex. He actually said "I know she's slept with someone else, so there's no reason she shouldn't sleep with me." Really dude? REALLY?
I mean, there could be a number of reasons she's not sleeping with you-- you're not going to know until you discuss it. If you discuss it & things don't change & your needs still aren't being met-- then it's time to end it.
well we discussed it, and now i guess i have to wait. she told me that kissing and cuddling is good enough for her in the intimacy department but understands how i feel and will try to make me happier.
i have my deadline, and that's that.
We came close last night to doing it.
She told me to get the condom, and so I did and when I came back she told me she would like to wait a bit longer.
What a tease, but she said she was sorry.
Enough already! For her, withholding sex is a power and control game ... this would be obvious to you if you had even a modest amount of experience. She is a classic c**k teaser! The guy she slept with before probably said something like "either f**k me, or f**k you!!" You're too nice a guy for such an ultimatum, of course, so she leads you around by your underused penis by vague and false promises of sex in the near future ... and you're falling for it! Don't be ashamed of wanting sex as part of a normal romantic relationship. You almost reclaimed your balls by telling her things have to change for the relationship to continue. Her reaction: "I'll try to make you happier" (translation, more blow jobs).
She revealed her treachery by cutting you off after asking you to get a condom. Every day she tells you the same thing - "we'll have sex tomorrow." Reminds me of a humerous sign I saw on the wall of my local pub: "Free Beer Tomorrow" ... tomorrow never comes.
Dump her sorry a**!!!!!
Carl.
Any progress?
Okay idk if you mentioned this in your previous posts but have you told her that your a virgin? And im amazed you didnt like flip shit when she told you to go get a condom then told you she wanted to wait! I recently lost my virginity to my girl friend of 5 months and once I told her I was a virgin it took all of two weeks for us to have sex. Are you doing anything to her sexually? that was pretty much how I got things started with my very limited sexual knowledge lol
As much as I can see everyone's frustration with this situation there remains the distinct possibility that the first time she had sex it ruined her relationship. This happened to two friends of mine who started going out. After a few weeks they had sex and then the relationship became ALL ABOUT sex. Every time they were together he wanted sex. She told me that having sex too soon is what killed their relationship. They started fighting and broke up. They haven't spoken in years. Anyway, this may be what happened in her past and what she thinks she's avoiding. The other guy may have dumped her shortly after she gave it up, and she may be fearing that too.
With all of that said, you need specific, concrete answers from this girl. You need to know exactly why she wants to wait longer (not the "I just can't explain it" bit). You need to know exactly what she expects the relationship to be in the future. You need to know a specific time frame instead of "a while longer". If she wants to wait until you've been together for a year, then it is what it is. At least you would know and you could take it or leave it. The bottom line is that there is too much that you don't know. You have to step up and ask these questions before you resent her so much that you end the relationship or become a jerk (thereby making her end the relationship). You also want to ask before you get so fed up that you ask in an explosive way because you may ultimately get your answers, but damage your relationship too.
the difference between waiting and being a horrible tease is a huge thick black defined line.
Yes, about 5 months ago. We do everything but sex. It doesn't happen often it has happened.Quote:
Originally Posted by kups [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I suspect this happened too. It might be a touchy subject for her so I don't want to bring it up, but I think this happened. All I know about her last relationship is that she started having sex with him 2 months into dating and it lasted only a few months after that. I've heard from a guy that's friends with my gf he was also the jealous type.Quote:
Originally Posted by Incognito [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
You need to tell her about the deadline to give her an opportunity to prepare herself for either posibility. Let her decide whether this relationship is important enough for her to have sex with you.