cleaning, ugh.

Cleaning is not the point, it's the matter of something that is obviously important to you that he doesn't care enough to help out. Don't look at it as a cleaning issue be the end of you.. it's his unwillingness to be a man in the relationship and do something as SIMPLE as helping you clean, shows how much he cares, or doesn't..

I'm not tryin to offend you or tell you what you don't wanna hear, but I'm just being honest with how *I* see it. I mean I've been in relationships where I've done things I really really don't like to do.. but cleaning? LoL come on now... the most important thing I always learned from those experiences too is that no matter how little or stupid or petty it seemed, if it's important to her, it's important to me.

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Originally Posted by misombra

and then when he does help he does a half-ass job. it frustrates me to watch him he doesn't know how to clean, seriously.

this man, oh tone you're not gonna like this one... he will actually sit around and play video games or f.uck around while i'm cleaning the house.

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I can understand your frustration for sure.. and wow even better.. while YOU'RE doing the work he's relaxing and having a good time, knowing you would greatly appreciate his help.

I hate it when guys take their relationships for granted. =/

Edit: That would do it for me.. I can maybe understand if he's busy or somethin but that he sits around and plays games when he could be helping you clean...

thanks tone. and no i'm not offended at all, you're right.

it's not about the cleaning, but more about the concern and pride for what we have. sometimes i think he doesn't care about it, because when we talk about he tells me, what makes you happy makes me happy and that he'll help, but there's no action. all talk, no walk.

i am in straits here. i'm fully prepared to move once our lease is up if things don't change. i don't think he fully understands this. he says i stress myself out and maybe i do. there's so many other redeeming things about our relationship that it would SUCK for us to end over this.

misombra, tell him no sex for a whole year if he doesn't do it...;) maybe that'll wake him up

asip4u- this is turning me off so much that... yeah... how could you want to have sex with someone who earlier that day watched as you cleaned the whole house?

Yeah, that WOULD suck. If he's a keeper otherwise, I would definitely get the housekeeper, if only to rid yourself of this resentment. If he's got a pattern of being inconsiderate, further action might be necessary.

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Originally Posted by misombra

i am in straits here. i'm fully prepared to move once our lease is up if things don't change. i don't think he fully understands this. he says i stress myself out and maybe i do. there's so many other redeeming things about our relationship that it would SUCK for us to end over this.

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That's good you're ready to move on if you have to.

And to me what does all those other good things really mean if he can't take his ass away from a video game to help you clean? If he can't do something as simple as that FOR YOU it kinda makes all the other things seem worthless... like he can't make no sacrifice, he can only participate in the good things that HE enjoys and can't help his woman out.

I don't think you're stressing yourself out, he's stressing you out by not puttin down the video controller and pickin up a broom.

thanks shh. i really think there is hope. he is very considerate otherwise. this is our only one big issue but the resentment carries into other things. i think the housekeeper will definitely help with my sanity. it is a lot of money for something that we wouldn't have to get if he would just help but maybe after a while he'll stop wanting to spend the money and give in and clean. money is his big thing, he doesn't like to spend. so maybe there's hope here.

To me, it's not so much about how things go during the good times, it's about how people react and conduct themselves during the bad times and the sacrifices they make that truely show how they feel.

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Originally Posted by Tone

That's good you're ready to move on if you have to.

And to me what does all those other good things really mean if he can't take his ass away from a video game to help you clean? If he can't do something as simple as that FOR YOU it kinda makes all the other things seem worthless... like he can't make no sacrifice, he can only participate in the good things that HE enjoys and can't help his woman out.

I don't think you're stressing yourself out, he's stressing you out by not puttin down the video controller and pickin up a broom.

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i know i know. believe me i know. i'm really trying. our lease runs out in feb. so i'm giving it 'till then. i wish i could change him, but i can't.

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Originally Posted by misombra

thanks shh. i really think there is hope. he is very considerate otherwise. this is our only one big issue but the resentment carries into other things. i think the housekeeper will definitely help with my sanity. it is a lot of money for something that we wouldn't have to get if he would just help but maybe after a while he'll stop wanting to spend the money and give in and clean. money is his big thing, he doesn't like to spend. so maybe there's hope here.

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Bah maybe it's just me but I don't think it should even have to go this far... what happens later on when something comes up he doesn't "like" to do but is important to you? I mean if he can't come to his senses about something as simple as cleaning...

Damn LoL you'd think I was tryin to steal misombra from her man or somethin.. haha I'ma stop hatin on your man now :P

this is why people should live together before they get married.

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Originally Posted by Tone

I hate it when guys take their relationships for granted. =/

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Taking things for granted makes life easier.

Up until what was taken for granted ups and leaves of course.

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Originally Posted by Tone

Bah maybe it's just me but I don't think it should even have to go this far... what happens later on when something comes up he doesn't "like" to do but is important to you? I mean if he can't come to his senses about something as simple as cleaning...

Damn LoL you'd think I was tryin to steal misombra from her man or somethin.. haha I'ma stop hatin on your man now :P

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no, it's true. i wish you would come over and tell him something.

i should add too that i don't think it's that he doesn't want to help, i think he just doesn't know how. i know that sounds lame but i think it's true.