Should I have concerns about my boyfriend watching a movie with another girl...ALONE?

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Originally Posted by fearoflove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Michelle, I do believe that ultimatums don't work in general. The OP's boyfriend has not cheated yet. He didn't have sex or had any physical intimacy with that girl yet (or that we know so far). Interpreting it as cheating is overreacting. I wouldn't brand it as emotional cheating either because they haven't talked about having sex. I am a firm believer that if anyone has been cheated on, the person should end all relations immediately and don't even give the cheater the time of day (for an ultimatum).

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I agree with you. He has not physically cheated yet which is why I recommended the ultimatum. He is acting as if he is dating her though which is still a form of cheating in my eyes.

Emotional cheating has nothing to do with sex. Its all about feelings

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Originally Posted by michelle23 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I agree with you. He has not physically cheated yet which is why I recommended the ultimatum. He is acting as if he is dating her though which is still a form of cheating in my eyes.

Emotional cheating has nothing to do with sex. Its all about feelings

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The girl seem to have more than friendship feelings towards him. But we don't know for sure if he returns those feelings. He might just like the attention.

OP, you can try issuing him an ultimatum which may or may not work. But even if it works, he is going to get tired of your demands.

You've mentioned that when he was hanging out with this girl, you are usually at the office, working. Do you work alot and have not a lot of time to socialize with him? He might be hanging out with this girl because he is seeking for companionship and lacking it from you. With the added thrill of the taboo (of hanging out with a girl he isn't suppose to because she has feelings for him), he is getting pulled more and more towards her.

With further thinking, I think you should really divide more of your time towards spending time with him rather than for work.

When you give an ultimatum and your ultimatum is perfectly normal (and not just the expected whim of an entitlement princess/prince) to what two, monogamous people expect within a relationship and that ultimatum back fires on you, then you've just dodged a bullet and its a good thing that it backfired. Any man (or woman) that will keep an opposite sex friend over his SIGNIFICANT other does not value you or your relationship and its best it ends because of that ultimatum. There is NO "backfireing" if something comes to an ultimatum. It's win win whether you get your way or you don't.